Ragnar...you knit of course.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Ragnar...you knit of course.
Monday, November 26, 2007
1. Car trip, we survived. In response to Granny's query of: "did he ride in his car seat the whole time?" "Yes of course he did, it's illegal and dangerous to ride in a car with an unrestrained infant, besides no baby on earth can nurse for six hours straight." Ha.
B. Free to pee, you and me. You get very strange looks from other rest stoppers when you take your baby into the toilet stall with you and make "pss" noises at him. Also you get rather snide comments from step-great-grandmothers, "let me know how that works out for you." Petoh's granny (my mum) on the other hand: "That is so cool. Grandpa, look at Ragnarson's little potty, isn't that cute?" So far our catch rate is hovering around 50%...this is good as we begin week two.
13. Ravelry, I am in. You can find me under Ragnar. I immediately joined all the groups having to do with skulls.
F. It is snowing.
11b. You can get a lot of knitting done while your extended family is holding your baby.
* I am thankful that Thanksgiving comes but once a year. Two roast turkeys, two fried turkeys, one fried goose, 20 pounds of mashed potatoes, and we lost track around 50 people.
H. We decided to cloth diaper while we were on the road. I admit that this was partially my stubbornness in wanting to demonstrate to my republican family that I am even more of a crunchy freak than they thought I was...result being that I am almost out of diapers, but satisfying to note that it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Really the only difference was carrying the dirties with us.
3. Ragnarson's grandpapa knit him a very cute soaker with a matching hat. Also a pair of booties using Cat Bordhi's new sock book...they miraculously stay on his feet. I will try to post a picture.
p). Sleeping in your own bed, priceless.
Ragnar...home again, home again.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
I love collective nouns. I think I was a little pre-goth when I found out that a bunch of crows is called a "murder" and a group of ravens is called an "unkindness." After that is was all down hill, and I've been a might bit obsessive about it ever since.
I think it was the great McPhee who first started referring to a group of knitters as "a whack." I'm not sure why that's so appropriate, but it sure seems like the right word. We all know that a bunch of yarn is referred to as a stash, and I always think that spinners come in "whirls." Is there a collective noun for a bunch of knitting needles?
Since I have been steeped in babies lately...yes absolutely marinated in them, I give you "Ragnar's totally incomplete list of collective baby nouns."
A squall of infants.
A clutch of midwives.
or perhaps a pool of midwives would be better.
An insurmountable of laundry (Manimal said the unthinkable about the laundry yesterday, he said "I think we're almost caught up...there has been exactly 15 minutes since the baby was born when there was no laundry waiting to be done.)
A leak of diapers.
An obstacle of toys (will someone please clean up the obstacle in the living room?)
Ragnar...straws, grasp them firmly.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
I have this block that in order to blog I must have pictures, but I blogged for almost a year without pictures...so that's no excuse at all.
So here is a totally random story:
Several years ago I was sitting outside of one of our local middle eastern eateries enjoying a falaful sandwich when a cop car pulled up. I have a totally unwarranted paranoia of cops, I am scandalously (for someone who claims to be a pirate anyway) law abiding, and yet whenever I see a police officer my heart goes pitter pat. Two of the boys in blue got out of the car and commenced to standing around waiting. Then another squad pulls up and two more cops get out...apparently the local brotherhood was planning on have shish-ka-bobs for lunch.
Then a bike cop pulls up, and hops off her bike. She pulls out her handcuffs and proceeds to lock up her bike by hand cuffing it to the front bumper of one of the squad cars.
This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.
Ragnar...teller of random stories.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
But when I was looking at the picture I started to laugh, not just because it is a lousy picture which doesn't show off the knitting exactly, but because it so clearly illustates what I do all day. See how there are random bits of crap strewn all over the floor? Here's how it goes:
Oh...oh the baby is crying.
Is he hungry?
Is he wet?
Is he tired?
Is he bored?
Who can tell?
Shake toy 1 at the baby...seems to be working, oh oh , no there he goes.
Shake toy 2 at the baby, oh he likes it, oh, no he doesn't like it.
Is he tired of sitting up?
Is he tired of laying down?
How about the fuzzy toy?
How about the rattley toy?
Does he want to be in the sling?
Does he want to bounce on the exercise ball?
Oh, now he's wet.
Oh, now he's hungry.
Oh, now he's tired.
And of course you never have time to put away any of the toys, or his play mat, or his sittin' up chair, or the laundry, or anything else. Basically it looks like "baby" exploded all over our house.
Ragnar....tidy this bitches.
Monday, November 05, 2007
But I was really going to try and post everyday, and I can't believe I fell off the wagon this soon. Yesterday was very busy. I couldn't post in the morning because Manimal was fidgeting with the computer trying to figure out why the fancy mobile internet card wasn't getting the speed that it should (because we go it from evil phone company, and nothing that we do through them ever works the way it should...nevermind).
Then we had to get some breakfast/lunch which was complicated by the fact that Saturday was the Michigan v. Michigan State grudge match, and every person in town was hung over and looking for greasy breakfast food to soak up the extra alcohol in their stomachs. We ended up at the Lebanese restaurant...apparently hung over college students don't think "schwarma" when they're looking for a post football pick-me-up-off-the-floor. Great, more Arabic Coffee for me.
Then we went to the studio so that I could sew velcro on some soakers that Sarah and my father knit for Ragnarson...he's outgrown his first set of diaper covers, and if that isn't a milestone than what is? The sewing of velcro is not a complicated process but there was no way it was getting done unless Manimal came along to hold the baby, so I had to seize the opportunity.
Then, after a quick stop home, I went out to the birth center for "knitting" group, where I actually knit several rounds on a hat...the subject of another post.
Then when I got home it was dinnertime so we went up to Crunchy's (our Sunday ritual) for pizza.
When we got home I watched half a DVD with Manimal while nursing the baby to sleep.
As I was drifting off I thought, "Oh shit, I didn't blog today...oh well I'll do it in the middle of the night when I wake up with Ragnarson." I woke up several times, and he squirmed a little and seemed like he might wake up several times, but low, he didn't actually awaken until 6:30 this morning. 7 and a half hours. Good baby!
Ragnar...only slightly sleep deprived
Friday, November 02, 2007
There is only one problem that I can foresee and that is that the old Blogaroo might come out the other side as a "mommy" blog rather than a "fiber-crafty-piratey-was-that-supposed-to-be-funny" sort of blog. 'Cause that's what I'm doing right now, mommying. In fact I just learned a new internet acronym. "NAK" Stands for nursing at the keyboard, and it takes me down from my reasonably accurate 60wpm, to a typo ridden 15 or so wpm.
I went to mommy group today, it's a gathering of moms out at the birth center. We all bring our babies (this is the precrawlers) and put them down on blankets and wave toys at them and talk about mommy stuff. I am not ashamed to say that I have been looking forward to it all week. I like mommy group so much that I'm trying to start another one at a coffee shop by my house.
Ragnar...tryin' to bring a little pirate into parenting
Thursday, November 01, 2007
"You signed up on October 30, 2007
You are #51012 on the list.
12331 people are ahead of you in line.
704 people are behind you in line.
68% of the list has been invited so far."
Saturday, October 27, 2007
He seems to wave his left hand over his head a lot, I call it his "shout out" pose.
Ragnar...in house blogging, who knew?
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I dragged the computer along to work today and I'm going to catch up on blogging, dern it.
Ragnarson has made his media debut, check out the State News' profile of Woven Art. Note that the photographer managed to take the picture from an angle that obscured the boob...and for the record he is 10 weeks old, not 10 months.
Yes my baby is wearing legwarmers. This picture is a nice intro to another topic, which is that I can't knit anymore! For some reason my wrist has begun to hurt A LOT, and the pain subsides if I don't knit for awhile. Gee do you think it could be from holding my needles at this crazy angle? But check it out, since I am apparently incapable of doing only one thing at a time, this is my first attempt at toe up socks, and also my first attempt at knitting two socks at the same time. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to knit from both ends of the ball at once, but I guess I thought that that way I would be able to squeeze every last inch of yarn out of the ball (I'm sort of envisioning these as thigh highs). In practice though I spend most of my time untangling yarn and needles and trying to figure out what direction I supposed to be knitting in.
Before my wristy problem set in, I did manage to finish a hat for the Manimal. He was inspired by Ragnarson's Fibonacci legwarmers, and wanted a Fibonacci toque, and it was time for his annual winterhat.
In other news, my secret pal keeps giving up the goodies.
Although there was a postal tragedy, and I am sorry to announce the death of a really nice lavender scented candle. Judging from the size of the glass fragments (the world pulverized comes to mind) this was the winning package in the interdepartmental postal carriers football championship. You can't pulverize yarn though and this is beautiful stuff, Classic Elite's wool bamboo. I've sworn off lace and scarves, but I think this yarn might have a lacy scarf in it's future. Plus how did my pal know that I'm a sucker for things that come in little tin boxes?
And following my pal's good example, I finally posted to my own secret pal. This box now represents both September and October, but should be all the more fun since it now has more stuff in it, right? Plus I got to go to the drive-thru post office.
I'm sure I had more things to say, but Momma brain has set in...perhaps I'll bring the computer to the store tomorrow as well.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Here are some things that I am teaching my son when he is at his most impressionable:
It’s okay to get drunk, as long as you spend your own money.
If you’re lucky you’ll grow up to be a moonshiner, an outlaw or a hobo.
Church is where you go to meet women.
It’s okay to steal as long as you help the poor.
If your woman is slowing you down, shoot her.
If your wife is a nag, pitch her in the river.
Tu-rum tu-rum fiddley diddley diddy dum.
Landlords are the worst.
If it’s cold and snowy, find yourself a nice warm box car.
Loving a pretty woman almost always ends badly.
Ten shillings will get you a gallon of moonshine.
Two pistols are always better than one.
You can fit ten million hogs, six million dogs and seven million barrels of porter in the hold of a ship.
There are A LOT of things you can do with a drunken sailor, (although if you slow the tempo and sing more softly, there are a lot of things that you can do with a sleepy baby.)
It’s better to go to the gallows than admit that you’re sleeping with your best friend’s woman.
Love burns, like a ring of fire.
If you don’t have enough money to cover your tab, then you better have friends to fight for you.
Whiskey will get you through times with no women, better than women will get you through times with no whiskey.
Never assume that the corpse at the wake is dead.
There are no policemen in heaven.
If you want to make friends, all you need is a well rosined bow.
If your mama tells you not to play with guns, don’t go off to Reno and shoot a man just to watch him die.
War isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but the farmers’ daughters are okay.
If it wasn’t for the weavers we’d all be neekid.
When you die, a tombstone isn’t as good as a couple of jugs of whiskey.
Behind every outlaw there is a loving mother.
So, anyone know any good lull-a-byes, before I turn Ragnarson into a woman hating alcoholic, living on the wrong side of the law and sleeping in box cars?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
You might be familiar with Highland Games like the Caber Toss and The Guess What I’ve Got Under My Kilt Contest, but unless you are a really dedicated Pirate Talker, you probably aren’t familiar with the Pirate Games.
X-Marks the Spot, which is sort of a treasure, hunt:
The Bilge Water Drinking Contest:
And Who’s Got the Baby?:
I couldn’t tell you who the winners were, because I was too far gone from the Bilge Water Drinking Contest and I didn’t make it to the awards ceremony.
Anyway, if you weren’t there, you shoulda been. We had a parrot…
And Melanie made me a dangerous, but delicious cappuccino.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
See you there, or see you in Davy Jones locker!
Ragnar...if you're a pirate, then whatever you say is talkin' like a pirate, in'it?
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
When they found out that I was pregnant the first question was "can we be part of your village?" At the time I said "sure," thinking, "village, whatever." But that was before I had a 26 day old baby. When you have a newborn the idea of a village becomes really appealing.
Our morning ritual: sleep in as long as possible, then get up and nurse for exactly 15 minutes on each side (the minimum amount required to travel the 5 blocks up to the caffe). Bundle the baby into one of our many baby carriers. (I went baby carrier crazy, I have 5 of them). Walk up to the caffe and pass the baby off to anyone sitting at the bar, this gives me time to order a cappuccino and possibly even take a sip before he wants to nurse again. Whoever has him will bring him back to me as soon as he starts crying, so it works out pretty well. Then he'll nurse for awhile while I do a crossword puzzle or (yay!) update the blog, and when he's done (okay, he's never done, when I pry him off after an hour or so) I pass him over to someone else and finish my (now lukewarm) cappuccino. It's friggin fantastic! Before he was born I mentally committed myself to "in arms" parenting, meaning no strollers, no cribs, keeping him close to me while I'm working throughout the day, etc. I still think that it's important, but I've realized that it doesn't always have to be my arms he's in.
The other great thing is that there is another couple at the caffe who have a six week old baby, so at times there will be two nursing babies hanging out at the coffee bar. Always a plus when you're getting used to nursing in public.
Things I just realized yesterday. 1). the computer fits in the diaper bag. 2). while Ragnarson is being passed around by all and sundry I could theoretically knit something!
Ragnar...bring me my village!!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Sunday, August 26, 2007
And since then it's been nothing but nurse nurse nurse all the time, apparently my milk bar is open 24 hours a day whether I like it or not, and I have not mastered the art of nursing and knitting, although I've been told it's possible. And I have to get it figured out because he's teeny weeny and I need to knit more soakers since the ones that I made while pregnant come up to his armpits.
I will try not to turn this into a baby blog, but it will be very hard. Harder even than my resolution not to talk to him in baby talk. The day after he was born I had him sitting in my lap and I was cooing and gahing at him, and Rat Girl gave me a look somewhere between amazement and disgust and said "I have never heard you talk like that." So a certain amount of baby will probably sneak through, but I'll try to keep it knitting related.
See? It's not a baby, it's a baby in a knitted hat.
Ragnar...stupid happy mama.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Have I mentioned the fact that I love! love Nancy's Kona Superwash? There are obvious reasons for this, like the washable, merino-ness of it, and the hand-dyed wonderfulness, but there are purely material reasons as well. Like the seemingly never ending skeins. It comes in 8oz bundles, which is just under 600 yards, in the $22 to $28 range (depending on if it's hand-dyed or hand painted...) which makes it about $5 an ounce...for washable hand-dyed Merino, and it's all in one beautiful chunk that you can knit off of forever! Bliss!
Needless to say when this orange showed up in the store it had to come home with me, and the black as well, since they go so well together, but after knitting a microscopic baby hat I have A LOT of yarn left over. After the hat I started these legwarmers:
As I near the end of the second legwarmer (only 8 more rows to go) I still have a crap load of yarn left-over. I have this insane urge to only knit baby stuff out of this yarn, to answer that age old question: "How much baby stuff can you knit out of a pound of wool?" I'm sort of out of ideas though, so I thought I'd open it up to the bleaders....what should I knit next?
Ragnar...still pregnant, for now.
PS...I do have plans to post some of these patterns. It has long been my intention to be one of the "cool" kids with free patterns on my blog, but it's that attention span thing. I really only have one thing on my mind at the moment and it doesn't leave very much room left over for writing patterns.
Monday, August 06, 2007
I am a sucker for the Kona Superwash from Woven Art (new website coming soon!). It's a no frills washable Merino. I am basically inclined to knit with solid colored (or not super "painted" hand-dyed) smooth yarns, but as far as wool, cotton, silk, linen etc. there is nothing I wouldn't take home with me. I leave you the fun furs and eyelashes of the world. They have no place in my stash.
2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?
3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?
4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
5. What's your favorite scent?
I'm pretty partial to Lavender, it's good for my blood pressure.
6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?
I have an intermittent sweet tooth, I will eat sweet stuff all day one day and then avoid it for weeks. Dark chocolate is always appreciated.
I do it all I'm embarrassed to say. Fiberwise I am a quilter, knitter, spinner, and new weaver. I can crochet if I have to, and I have been known to dye things. I also cook, grow things (when I can bend, not while I'm 39 weeks pregnant), can things etc. And did I mention we are remodeling our house. I suspect I'm going to be an A+ #1 drywaller by this time next year.
I'm sort of a "classic" heavy metal/punk kinda girl, but I also like "good" country and bluegrass and some out there new stuff (Rasputina! cello playing women in underwear...can't beat it with a stick)
9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?
10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
I live with the Manimal, the father of my soon to be born, and we have partial custody of his daughter Rat Girl. We have a cat, or perhaps the cat has us. She is named for the sound that a cat makes when you throw it over board...Splash.
11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?
I wore a poncho once when I was about 6 years old..since then, not so much poncho. I like scarves, am obsessed with hats (admittedly more the knitting of them than the wearing of them, but I wear them too) and can never find my mittens.
12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
13. What are you knitting right now?
The UFO file runneth over. Let's see, I think we're down to three unfinished sweaters for me, they won't fit for awhile so why bother. I just started reknitting the Rat Girl sweater:
It's not so much like frogging if you just knit off of the the old piece right? And then there's the teddy bear (body stuffed, but no arms yet), the baby sack, and random other pieces that are so far gone they're not in the active file anymore. As soon as I can get a few of them wrapped up I have promised Manimal a Gansy.
14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?
15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
I'm an Addi Turbo Whore. I love those things, and I prefer circulars. Bamboo is lovely but doesn't stand up to my aggressive knitting style....that would be tight.
16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?
I am semi-permanently borrowing both from a friend who has fallen from the true faith...that would be knitting. I suspect that when she's done with this PhD thing that's taking up all her time she will want them back. I work at a yarn store though, so I have access.
17. How old is your oldest UFO?
That would be the "free wool" sweater. Started spinning for it when I first started spinning, and that was at least 3 years ago. It's almost done, I just have to reconcile myself to ripping out the top half of the second sleeve.
18. What is your favorite holiday?
Seriously I like the solstices and the equinoxes. I don't celebrate them in any special way, I just like to observe them. And not seriously there's international talk like a pirate day, and also my birthday, which is just like talk like a pirate day.
19. Is there anything that you collect?
Hmm...I have sort of a collection of pirate stuff, it's not conscious so much as incidental. I also collect fabric with skulls, flames, or any other cool print on it (Alexander Henry, I love you so) (at least 1 yard pieces), and yarn of course.
20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?
I've been looking at rogue for years, trying to justify buying a pattern for what is essentially a stockinette sweater with a cable on it...I mean, that pretty much describes the three unfinished sweaters in my stash bin...so why should I get another one (but it's sooooo purty). There's also a really cute pattern on etsy for baby booties that look like chuck taylors. I also pick up "vintage" knitting books and patterns anytime I see them, some for entertainment and some because the patterns are really good. I don't subscribe to anything because if I like it one month I hate it the next, Interweave Knits is consistently the best.
21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?
All of them. I'm obsessed with adding to my "arsenal" of available skills. I'm working on Mosaic right now, and I'm anxious to improve my dying techniques.
22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?
I don't wear hand knit socks (you just can't beat wigwam silk/merino hiking socks, my feet feel good just thinking about them) but Manimal does and although I don't generally knit socks, I have promised to knit him one pair a year. I wear a size 10 at the moment, we shall see if I am still a 10 after I am unpregnant again.
23. When is your birthday?
May 22nd. The year is not important to anyone, I'm 30. I have been 30, and I will continue to be 30 until I get really good at it and they let me go on to the next level.
24. Are you on Ravelry? If so, what's your ID?
I've thought about it, but honestly just schleping the laptop up to the cafe is almost too much for me, so I've decided to exempt myself. I'll breakdown sometime next year and then I will be 102,457,098th on the waiting list. I'm okay with that.
Ragnar...you are now returned to regularly scheduled blogging.
This is the "sue" sweater from Elspeth Lavold's Designer's Choice 6. It is knit out of silky wool, which I fell in love with after knitting the golden harvest hat. It's actually going to be a shop sample for awhile until Ragnarson grows into it, I'm going to teach a "knitting for babies" class, and this is a great, stylish beginner's project. I have every confidence that an absolute beginner could tackle this with good results. We will knit, we will purl, we will make button holes, decrease and pick up stitches.
I also finished the strange brown sweater, I'm hoping it will look better when it's actually on a baby, so I'm not showing it here. It has a shawl collar, which persists in curling oddly in spite of the fact that I tried no fewer than 4 different bind off techniques...ah well. Babies are cute, so they can wear sort of wonky sweaters right?
And Manimal's socks are done just in time for the Woven Art, Hand-dyed, Hand-knit show...but like I said it's been 90 degrees out so he won't want to wear them for a month or so at least right?
We have been practicing our new parent skills on this stuffed gorilla. We call him Monkey baby, and here he is modeling my first attempt at knitting a "soaker." For those not in the know, a soaker is a diaper cover which crunchy cloth diapering mom's everywhere assure me are "the bomb" as far as diapering accessories go. When you treat the wool with Lanolin it becomes moisture resistant, I hesitate to say "proof" because there really is no such thing with babies is there?
It's all soakers all the time at my house these days, here's an in progress shot of a pull on variety. This is actually left over yarn from the intarsia pillow. Cute no? I tried to make the skulls sort of friendly and baby like...uhm yeah. My poor baby is probably going to be one of those sensitive poet types, but when he looks back at his baby pictures it's going to be nothing but skulls and flames.
See you all next weekend at the Hand-dyed show! If I'm not in labor that is.
Ragnar...skully diapers baby!
Friday, July 20, 2007
So there's Manimal's first sock. I had to reknit the heel once, and the toe once, but that's pretty much on par for me and sock knitting.
But the spooky part comes in here:That would be one the heel flap of the second sock. I thought at first that I was just distracted, because I was knitting at birth class (you have to go to birth classes, because otherwise you won't know how to have a baby) and they were showing videos of newborn babies "rooting" response. Basically a baby will find the nipple on it's own if s/he is left alone, but watching a 20 minute old baby flop around and peck at it's mother's breast until it comes up with a nipple is singularly hilarious. I now think of my unborn son as the naked mole rat baby. Anyway, it was very funny and I thought it was conceivable that I had miscalculated the number of stitches in the heel flap. But I knit it twice and still not the right number of stitches.
Then I knit it twice more when I wasn't at birth class and still not the right number of stitches.
How is this possible? These socks are possessed. Actually every sock I've ever knit is possessed because this always, always happens. Perhaps this is why I avoid knitting socks.
I am sock cursed.
So what do you do when you are sock cursed?
Well I don't know what other people do, but I'm going to weave. This whole process is thusfar misleading, because the first inch and a half is to straighten out the warp so that you can weave the "real" thing, and the second inch is the "hem" so that you don't have to have fringe....not that I really have anything against fringe, but basically I have about 1 and 1 quarter inches of actual "blanket" here. Of course I was only at it for an hour and a half....not including the "warping." I'm sure the next 43 and 3 quarters inches will go much faster.Ragnar...I loomed!
Monday, July 16, 2007
Until yesterday that is.... In case you can't recognize me, I'm the one with the 9 month pregnant belly...and to my right (that would be your left) is Sarah of Handknitter fame, notice that she is knitting, not spinning. There are many other knitting celebs of course including some sewing night regulars, but none of them have blogs and are therefore not linkable. But look! The comfy couch is empty, just waiting for more spinnerly goodness, and July is one of those crazy months with a 5th Sunday. You don't have to spin (apparently) so what's your excuse?
I do have some finished (ish, buttons don't count do they?) items to show, and an almost finished sock (the first one, but I'm counting it damn it) but I've had a crazy week. Check out the house blog to see what's been occupying my time (hint...my house is now a one story, a very breezy one story). I'm limited in what I can do during the heavy demo phase, although I do try to show up at least once a day for moral support, and because it's so exciting to see everything get destroyed.
This is Rat girl and my knee sitting in the backyard watching the roof come off, notice the knitting? I figure knitting socks for Manimal (his heart's desire at the moment, but don't remind him about that sweater that I promised him two years ago) is sort of like helping on the house right? My previous job was manning the burn barrel.
But the Fire Marshal stopped by and explained that burning tons (literally, we figure we managed to burn a whole dumpsters worth at least) of construction debris in your backyard is not really legal and that he would prefer it if we stopped. Sure thing, Mr. Marshal, won't happen again. So I am out of a job, although I hope to be of some use during the Con-struction phase, rather than the de-struction phase.
Ragnar...it's 'cause my belly gets in the way of the sledge hammer.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
So where do you go when it's hot and nasty, you're covered with drywall dust and insulation and your fingers and toes are all puffed up like little sausages? (okay, maybe I'm the only one who has to worry about that one). Where else but Hell?
Actually we go to a little lake that's just outside of Hell and we float around on those silly looking noodle things and generally just bask in the cool watery wonderfulness of it all. Then if we still need a little bit more "summer" when we're all shriveled up like pruney muskrats, we go into Hell and get an Ice Cream Cone at "Screams" which is as far as I can tell the only actual business in Hell. No that's not true, there's also a convenience store called the Hell Country Market that sells pizza and other convenient things, and is also the post office so that's where you go if you want to have something postmarked from Hell. There's also a little motel/hotel called the Dam Site Inn....but that's it, that's everything there is in Hell.
Ragnar...it's 90 freakin' degrees outside and I'd rather be in Hell.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
SGAG: What is that? Some sort of joke? What did those take you 15 minutes to knit?
R: I don't have to take your scary government agent crap, that's a finished pair of socks. A pair! Like two that are the same. I guess I could even count that as two finished objects if I wanted to.
SGAG: Oh, so that "pair" of socks that you've been knitting for your former co-worker, that's really one finished object and one ball of yarn? Considering that you don't even have the ends woven in on the one lonely finished sock, I don't think it counts for much. And what about those skully toe socks that don't fit in the toe and have needed reknitting for about two years? What would you call those?
R: Hey, if you want to talk about ancient history that's your problem. Both of those projects have been sitting quietly in the bottom of the basket without bothering anyone for a long time.
SGAG: Well then let's look at more recent history shall we? I'm counting three partially finished baby sweaters here Ragnar. Would you like to say something in your defense?R: Hey! All of those sweaters are about 5 minutes away from being done. One of them only needs to be sewn up, one of them needs to have the arms shortened, and buttons sewn on, and the other one needs to be sewn up and have the buttons sewn on. Those sweaters are, like, done.
SGAG: They are "like" done, but the fact is that they're not done, are they?
R: Hey would you mind adjusting that light, it's shining right in my eyes.
SGAG: Just answer the question, are those sweaters done or aren't they
R: They're not done! Okay, are you happy? Do you want me to sign a confession or something?
SGAG: And what about the "free wool" sweater, and the "Celtic" sweater?
R: They're not done either! The free wool sweater has gauge problems, and the sleeve cables aren't matching up. And the Celtic sweater is a dye lot nightmare, and I just can't face them right now, okay? Gees. Maybe I'll finish them after the baby is born and it's not 90 freakin' degrees outside and there's a chance in hell that they'll fit me....why are you laughing?
SGAG: You just said "after the baby is born," as if you'll have all the time in the world. I just struck me as hilarious for a second there. But back to these UFO's isn't it true that you just started a pair of socks?
R: Hey, you have to talk to Manimal about that. He did all these crazy calculations and decided that he was being left out of the knitting loop and that with the amount of time I spent knitting, he should get some socks. He even started knitting a pair for himself, and I don't know if you know Manimal, but he HATES knitting, so the man is desperate for socks. I didn't have a choice.
SGAG: Are you trying to tell me that Manimal forced you to start a new pair of socks?
R: Yeah, basically. That was totally not my fault.
SGAG: Okay then, what is this?
R: That is a teddy bear.
SGAG: A teddy bear?
R: Yeah, a teddy bear? You got a problem with that?
SGAG: Well since it's obviously a UFO, yeah, I got a problem with that, little miss attitude. Plus I'm skeptical. That is one fucked up looking bear, and judging from the number of strings hanging off of it, there's a fair amount of finishing in that.
R: Yeah? So? I like sewing remember? I'm a quilter. I sew professionally.
SGAG: Which is why those baby sweaters are languishing away, unsewn and unfinished?
R: Is that all you've got? Because if so I'm leaving.
SGAG: As a matter of fact, I have some more exhibit photos here. Tell me what you think of A34 and 62C.
R: Those are both going to be frogged. That first one, that should never have been started. I was all on fire because I borrowed this Gansey book from Swift Black Betty, and had this homespun that I wanted to do something with. It's just not working out, it's going to turn back into yarn. And that second one, that's the little red riding hoody. I don't suppose I should have started that one either. If I had read the pattern I would have realized that there was no way it was going to look good on Rat Girl. I'm going to rip it out and knit something that will be more practical for her.
SGAG: So you admit that you have a problem with starting inappropriate projects.
R: Hey! You're putting words into my mouth. That is not what I said!
SGAG: What about this intarsia pillow? Is it true that you have 6 inches of I-cord trim left and that you've had that same 6 inches of trim left for about 3 weeks now?
R: Well, it's so close to being done that I didn't feel like I had to work on it.
SGAG: You didn't feel like you had to work on it...I think we're getting to the root of the problem. Let's see, according to my notes you have three pairs of unfinished socks, an unfinished "we call them pirates" hat, two as-yet-unfrogged ill-considered sweaters, three adult sized sweaters that you will work on "after the baby gets here," *snort* three infant sized sweaters that are "almost" done, one intarsia pillow that's "so close to being done that you don't feel like you have to work on it," one tangle of ends that you swear is a teddy bear, and oh...what's this on the bottom of my pile?"
R: Hey! Where did you get those photos?
SGAG: A loom! You have, by conservative estimate, 13 UFO's in progress and you decide to take up weaving? What kind of fiber fiend are you?"
That's the end of the transcript but there are definitely some pages missing. I'm just trying to figure out what it all means. Are they on to me? Is the UFO brigade going to freeze my account at the yarn store? Do those baby socks I knit last week count for nothing? What's going to happen when they find out about the "little monster hoody" that I have stashed at Woven Art? Maybe I should get off my ass and do some finishing. (shudder).
Ragnar...you try working in a yarn store and see how long you last.