Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Dear Ragnarson...

Hey little man. You know I love you right? I just wanted to get that out there, since you might have over heard me say somethings that we both know I didn't really mean. I realize that you're becoming more cognizant, and so I've been making an effort to watch what I say around you...such as not referring to you as "a jerk." I just wanted you to know that I'm trying okay?

So you're getting a little older, and I feel like we can sit down and talk man to man about somethings that need changing, or mom to man, or whatever.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is...this no nap thing? It's killing me man. Nap time is my recharge time. Nap time is the time where I do crazy important things like unload the dishwasher and eat lunch. Nap time is mommy time, okay? So if you insist on not taking naps then some other stuff if going to have to change. Like spending all of your "awake" time velcroed to my leg? Yeah, that's got to go. And the constant whining when I can't immediately decipher what you want, it's getting old, so old. While we are on the subject, I'd like to mention that you might be better understood if you spoke in English instead of Japanese, because quite frankly, I don't speak Japanese.

I don't want this to seem imbalanced, or like I'm placing all the responsibility on you, so here's what I'll do for you. You can keep your "half" (by which I mean the middle 2/3rds) of the bed, as well as the use of the floor, every square inch of it, for your toy storage. I will continue to launder your clothes, at the rate of three outfits a day, and keep the cupboard supplied with a combination of healthy and not-so-healthy snacks (I wonder which one you'll eat). I will even change the batteries in your noisy, blinky sound and light extravaganza toy, which yes, I have been "forgetting" on purpose....see? I'm really trying to open up here and take responsibility for my...uh...imperfections. I will make myself available for half hour to hour long stretches of book reading, toy piling, and airplane riding, as well as continue to supply the go-go power for those leisurely stroller rides.

In exchange I ask only that you give me a two hour stretch in the afternoon where you sleep, or play quietly by yourself so that I don't go stark staring mad. That's it, just two hours once a day.

So how about it little man, do we have a deal?

I remain sincerely,

Ragnar...yo momma.