Spring Sprang Sprat...

It is March 21st, the Vernal Equinox, Naw Ruz, and there is a bloody great "winter weather" advisory on, and we are set to get upwards of 8 inches of snow. I would go and take a picture of it, but it would be fucking depressing. Go and get a piece of blank paper out of your printer, hold it about five inches away from your nose and that's what it looks like outside right now.

So I'm going to stay here in "denial" for a bit, and pretend that it still feels like the first day of spring.

Ragnarson turned 7 months old last Sunday, and thus far I haven't sat on him, lost him, or drown him in the bathtub, so you can imagine that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. He celebrated his 7 month birthday by mastering the right, left, right, left crawl, although he still goes back to the seal/inchworm belly flop method when he get's excited, like when I've forgotten to put the cat food bowl up on the counter while he is in the kitchen.

I looked across the livingroom the other day and he was sitting up by himself, which was shocking enough that it was a full five seconds before I realized that the reason he was sitting quietly was because he was happily munching on a piece of paper that he wasn't supposed to have. I was surprised because up to that point he had shown no interest in being sat up, and would protest by flipping over on his back. I am seeing a pattern though, that I know all too well. The "I will learn new things by myself, thank you, and don't try to give me any advice, or heaven forbid, teach me anything, because I'm only interested in things that I figure out for myself," pattern. He is my son afterall, so this should come as no surprise.

He is hauling himself up on things as well, and I spent a few days following him around trying to prevent the thumps and bumps, but eventually I realized that I was just making things worse. I do cringe when I hear the cranium/floor thunk, but I actually hear it a lot less often now that I am just letting him do his own thing. So far the fun game seems to be "take things out of the toybox."

So I guess that's what spring means for me this year. Not the tender little green things, but new growth, definitely.

Ragnar...not sleeping is sort of like being drunk, except not so restful.

C is for...

Well if it was T, it would be "T is for my tardy ass," since other ABCers have moved on the bigger and better letters like "F." I'll be playing a little ABCatch-up.

Anyway. I toyed with the idea of making every single letter of the Alphabet be something baby related...in which case C would be for crawling, and T would be for terrifying, but I actually have a really good "C" with lots of pictures:

C is for Construction.

Siding is done. Now we just need wires, ducts, walls, drywall, cupboards and trim...so close and yet so far.

Ragnar...who doesn't play by the rules.

Publish or Perish

I have a new addiction: the pattern browser in Ravelry. It is something that I can do with one finger while listening to public radio podcasts, which is important since Ragnarson has a cold and as a result has completely given up sleeping in bed. He only likes to sleep on the boppy, on my lap, and since he's sick he's taking four or five hours worth of naps a day...sigh.

It's endless, there are over 4,000 patterns in the "free" section alone, and being the broke ass that I am, that's the section that interests me the most. In my Ravelry library alone I have around 100 pdf's, and at least that many on my computer as well...and those are just the patterns that I saved because I thought that I might someday, possibly, maybe, think about buying yarn with the intention of knitting them. I have to say though, having all those lovely patterns right at my fingertips just waiting to be printed out and slipped into plastic sheet protectors makes me feel like a wealthy wealthy woman.

Also makes me feel like a slacker, since I've been meaning to write up some of my patterns for ages.

And apparently making me feel like a slacker is a good way to motivate me, because today, while the baby was sleeping on my lap I typed out the pattern for the Flame On baby hat. I even went and found a freeware pdf converter, because I am a big old snob and only like my free patterns to be in pdf format. I was not so successful in finding a place to host pdf files though, so for the time being if you want it you will have to go and get it from the google documents site where I am hosting the word document...it's the same exact thing as the pdf, just not converted.

So go and get it. And if you're on Ravelry put it in your queue because that would make me feel all warm and gooshy on the inside. Hopefully in the next couple of days it will be downloadable from there as well, I'm just waiting to get my "designer" page linked to my "profile" page, and then I'm told, the magic will happen.

I'm hoping that this will be the first of several, if not many.

Ragnar....I'm a deeeesiiiiiiner.

B is for....

Since the other ABC alongers have moved on to C, I decided I might as well post my B. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone here that:

B is for Baby.

(Ragnarson, 2 days old)

B was going to be for Birth Story, which is the reason that this post was delayed. I have been working on it off and on since Ragnarson was born, but it is a long story which is hard for me to write. It's hard in one sense, because I don't remember a lot of it. I was in labor for more than 60 hours, and even though I was sleeping between contractions (HA!) that is a long time. In another sense it's hard because things did not go as planned. Instead of a quiet, peaceful birth center, birth-in-the-tub sort of birth, I got a crazy transfer-to-the-hospital, us-against-them sort of birth. It will be written in good time, and I will send it off to the birth center to post on their website along with all the other birth center babies. Even though I didn't end up actually birthing at the center, the midwives are still very important to me.

(2 months old)

When we finally brought Ragnarson home from the hospital I remember having this feeling of "What? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to send me home with a new born baby? Look at him, he's like a doll with no stuffing, what if I sit on him?" And breastfeeding did not take off smooth and easily. He lost a lot of weight, and I was, of course, obsessive about it. I remember once, when he was probably four or five days old. I was scrutinizing every diaper for "mustardy seedy texture," which was not what I was finding. I called the Birth Center, and talked to one of the midwives, trying to affect a casual tone, "I'm sure it's nothing, I'm just a little worried because his poop is still brown, and it seems like it should be more yellow by now." Not fooled in the least she said "Are you okay honey, do you want me to come over and weigh him?" "No" sniffle snort "I'm okay," although I obviously wasn't. "You're right on my way home," she said, "I'll just stop by and say Hi." Sniffle, snort, "Okay, thanks." Anyway...they are great people those midwives.

(4 months old)

So here's to birth! Every woman I know who's had a baby, especially the crazy hippy ones who've had "natural" births, is totally blown away by the experience. Half of them decide to start training as doulas or midwives, and god help me I'm right there with them. Pity my poor friends that had the misfortune to get pregnant after I did, because I am insufferable on the subject of babies.

6 months old, and for the record that is avacado up his nose, not a nasty green booger. You can see me knitting in the background as his sister is feeding him. I don't get avacado up his nose when I'm feeding him...or at least there isn't photographic evidence that I do.

I love you Ragnarson, thanks for making me into a Mama.

Ragnar...baby crazy, but still a pirate.

And then there were two...

A couple of months ago I posted a link to this picture, which ran in the local college paper. You might not get a good impression of what I am knitting, but it's a pair of toe up socks, inspired by Ann Budd's article in a recentish Interweave Knits...actually not that recent considering that I was still pregnant when I started this &%**&%)*@ project.

Here is a more representational picture which I took in a brief (naptime!) whirl wind of documenting fever...the better to update my Ravelry Notebook...which has yet to be updated.

For some reason I thought that my first "toe up" project would be a good time to try the "two at once" technique as well...in for a penny in for a pound. And since I suffer from that peculiar disease that causes me spend 2 hours unraveling a tangled skein rather than cutting it (after all that would be two more ends to weave in and that would be tedious and take approximately a minute and a half...yeah), I decided that rather than weigh and divide the ball of yarn half, I would just knit from both ends at the same time. Because that way I would be able to squeeze every last bit of possible yarn out of the ball, and I wouldn't have to throw away that yard and a half that didn't get evenly divided....waste not want not, right?

Turns out that knitting two socks at the same time from opposite ends of the ball is really really irritating. The yarn gets tangled in the needles. The yarn from the inside of the ball has more twist than the yarn from the outside of the ball, and you can't untwist it because it's all connected together. The yarn gets unwound and there is no way to wind it back on it's self because you're knitting off of the outside of the ball. I could go on. I won't though, because none of you are silly enough to try knitting socks that way.

I decided to "fix" the problem by winding the remaining skein into a ball so that both ends were coming off the same side. Not having swift I unwound the ball by wrapping it around a basket. When I got to the point where the two ends met each other I started a traditional round yarn ball, like what the kitties play with. For a few days I knit off the new improved ball...which was not so much improved, since the yarn still got seriously tangled up...although the over twist problem seemed to have been solved at least.

Realizing that I wasn't getting anywhere I unwound the ball once again...this time using a real swift. When I got to the middle of the ball I, steady now, I know you'll all be shocked by this...CUT THE YARN INTO TWO PIECES. Got that? Two socks, two balls of yarn. Whoa. That's the state that is memorialized in the picture above. This was a vast improvement, since two balls means that if the yarn becomes tangled, you can untangle it...shocking, no? However, there is the problem of having two wee balls of yarn rolling around you while you're knitting, and having to stop every few rows to wind them back up and untangle them from your needles.

Then I had a dream. I have been having a lot of dreams lately. I think it's because I spend a lot of time in the "not quite asleep" stage that mothers who are co-sleeping with nursing babies get to know so well. Anyway. In my dream instead of having two socks, and two balls of yarn on two circular needles, I had two socks, and two balls of yarn, but they were each ON THEIR OWN NEEDLE. Crazy the things that come to you when you are half asleep.

Check it out.

And can I just say? Magic loop? No effing kidding magic loop, that shit is the bomb.

Ragnar...who has been up three times during this post to nurse the baby back to sleep...I'll decide when you're done napping you little...precious baby.

The wagon is so easy to fall off of...

They need to put rails on that damned wagon or something, you really have to hold on tight and even then, one little bump and there you are in the middle of the road, watching the wagon drive off without you.

By which you will probably be able to guess that the finish-2-start-1 "suggestion" (as we pirates know, all the rules are really just suggestions) has been suspended due to a knitting emergency. Yes there is such a thing as a knitting emergency! (please to notice new skull stitch markers...thanks no-longer-secret-pal Jennifer).

It was a dark and stormy night...okay it was an unseasonably warm night. It was in fact the night before a friend's baby shower. It was 11 o'clock. We had no baby presents in the house. Sure there were plenty of toys with just a little bit of drool on them, but regifting slightly used baby toys is sort of a shower no-no. Turns out that some Mom's are pretty crazy about their baby's toys, and only like to have pristine, drool free toys...and anyway, toys are a lousey baby shower present anyway, because the baby can't play with them for 3 or 4 months and until then they are just in your way. What you need for a baby shower is something that makes the Mom-to-be, who is very pregnant, and uncomfortable, think "Awwww, baby stuff is cute, it'll be great fun to have a baby." Or at least that's what I assume...at my shower people got me things like flamey legwarmers, and shirts with pithy sayings on them...and this of course made me think "Awwww, there's punk-rock-gothy-evil baby shit in the world, it's gonna be so much fun to have a baby."

By miraculous co-incidence, I had just that afternoon reorganized my stash. It was miraculous, because the baby had taken "a nap." I had heard of naps, but thought that they were a part of baby lore, like the one about how they like their carseats, that didn't apply to mine. My baby sleeps during the day, but he likes to sleep on me, making it impossible to do anything but sit in "the chair" and surf the net (ahem, my Ravelry cue, ahem), and try to knit without waking up the little booger. To me this does not constitute a nap. But on this day, the miraculous day, he had slept in a bed, in another room, and did not start making little squawking baby noises for ONE HOUR AND 45 MINUTES. I'm having a plaque made. So after "I put the baby down for his nap" (just thinking those words makes me feel all trembly) and I went in to the living room, gently closing the bedroom door behind me, I realized that I had no idea what to do with myself. There were chores to be accomplished, of course, but somehow the lure of the "big box of yarn" seemed so much stronger. So I spread the stash all over the living room....it was blissful.

Mmmm, blurry stash photo. We're knit bloggin' now!

With stash freshly sorted, and baby shower in sight, it became obvious that the writ of Finish-thy-projects had to be suspended. What was needed was a quick and easy baby pattern. Hats were out, not only because all my hat appropriate yarns were too itchy for baby, but because I knew that Ginger was knitting baby hats. Which brings us to "The Eleventh Hour Baby Booties."

Nothin' makes you go "Awwww" like itty bitty booties.

The pattern: Saartje's Booties. Which is a free pattern, and you should go knit a pair, or two or three.

The yarn: Tristan, by Louet. Which is linen plyed with merino...quite lovely. I knit Manimal a hat out of it, and the rest of the skein has been languishing in the big blue yarn tub. I probably have enough left over for another pair of emergency booties.

And since this was an emergency project I don't feel that I have violated any "suggestions" or solemn vows or whatever...but here's a question. If you finish a project that you never started, does it count toward finish-2-start-1? And if you finish a pair of somethings, isn't that really finishing two individual somethings, and doesn't that mean that I now get to cast something on? And further more. I frogged a project while I was sorting yarn, so that is in a way finishing something (as in, "you're finished" said the hero to the villain), is it not?

By my count I am one ahead in the finishing department.

Whoo hoo! See ya at the yarn store!

Ragnar...the important thing is that I convince myself that it's true.

A is for....

*Bulletin:

For those readers who aren't a part of the insidious "knit blogging" community, it is a cult. Not a kool-ade drinkin' cult, but rather a yarn buyin, Clapotis knitting (3873 documented in Ravelry), Sock Wars havin, I-got-every-size-of -addis kinda cult. There are also a lot of "alongs." It has yet to be seen whether the interest of "gooder" blogging will be served by alonging, but I just happen to have an "a." And it just happens to be the right time for "a" in the "ABC Along." So every two weeks...you know, until I don't do it anymore which is my pattern in all things...I'll post a picture relating to a letter, and write a little post about it. Cute huh? Wanna take bets on how far a long I'll get before I derail?

And furthermore:

A is for Argyle.

Or should that be Arrrrgyle, the favorite sock pattern of pirates?

And who is this guy?

Why the duke of Argyle of course. And what does he have to do with this post? Absolutely nothing.

But here's the thing about argyle. Argyle is a pattern that can go on sweaters, as well as socks. And I'm a knitter, theoretically of sweaters, although I'm much better at starting them than finishing them. I live with a Man(imal) who wears sweaters. He mostly wears sweaters that he purchased for $1.50 at the thrift shop. Fashionable they are not, but they keep him warm. I don't really wear sweaters. I have one ubiquitous black cotton, zip-up which is getting little snag holes in it, and several black hoodies which degrade further and further every time I wear them (draw string, we don't need no stinkin' drawstring). Is it any wonder that I never finish any of the sweaters that I start for myself? It's the starting that's fun, but why bother with the finishing since I probably won't wear them anyway?

Manimal, being the observant fellow that he is has picked up on the fact that he doesn't have any hand knit sweaters and has been dropping subtle hints. Like giving me sad puppy dog eyes whenever I pull out the needles. And asking questions like "Oh, is that for me?"

So we have come to an understanding. I want to knit something argyle...no that's not true. I want to knit something "arrrgyle," and he wants a sweater. A match is made.

The only other barrier to casting on is my unofficial (because I'll never stick to it anyway)moratorium on "starting" things. I sat myself down and gave myself a good stern talking to, that went something like this: "Look here you little so and so, this starting new projects thing is getting out of hand. You are buying needles in sizes that you already own because those needles have projects on them, and you want to start something new. Not only is it silly to own three pairs of #8, 24" needles, but you are running out of space to store your unfinished objects! Just what are you going to do about this?"

So I compromised with myself. I can only start something new after I have completed two unfinished projects. Theoretically that way I will get ahead of the game at some point.

Arrrgyle, here I come.

Ragnar....if you want a preview of "B" make with the clickety.

The way we was..or I were..or whatever

I was uploading projects into my Ravelry Notebook (Knitter's Crack is this Ravelry thing, it's worse than sock yarn), and linking back to some old posts, like the original Viking Baby Hat, and the Medusa Hat, and all, and I had a little Ravelry induced revelation. This here blog used to be a whole lot better. I think I've fallen off the wagon as far as "well written and witty," goes. It's not just my recent lazy habit of posting a cute baby picture and calling it a blog entry, or even my recent obsession with my infant's potty habits. It's just an overall slide into quantity vs. quality.

It could be that typing with one finger while nursing, sort of messes with the flow of consciousness feel that I used to go for. It's not that my life is less interesting than it was, self-employed-artist-new-mommy-knit-designer-teacher-new-studio-house-renovation has got to be more interesting that sit-in-stuffy-office-complaining-about-unfullfilling-job. Right? It's not like I'm not spending 10 hours a day on the computer (we are on the nurse and surf plan here at casa de Ragnar), so what's with the lame sporadic posting?

While I am not crazy enough to pledge a whole year of uninterrupted posting, it does seem like this here New Year thingie might be a good time to make a moderate commitment to upgrade the old bloggeroo (blogerino?).

This is not a "resolution" okay? We don't resolve around here, because that is just a recipe for disaster. Besides I've always favored the Baha'i New Year (my folks are Baha'is) on the vernal equinox. Seems like a much more "new" time of year when things are actually, oh I don't know, growing? So if I were to resolve (which I won't) I would resolve then.

I seem to have gotten off topic, what was I spouting about? Oh, yeah wanna see a cute picture of my baby?

Gah! It's too hard, I can't stop posting baby pictures! But I will make more of an effort to stop relying on them as "content."

So I give you "Ragnar's Commitment to Quality in 2008"

2008 being a year of even number and great factorability (which for some reason has always been equated with "good" in my mind) it is deserving of observance and shall be known as "the year of gooder blogging." In the YOGB (like yoga, only b), posts shall be built around themes, projects shall be well photographed and documented. When I say "I have every intention of writing this up and posting the pattern," I will mean it. In fact I won't say it, I'll just god damned do it. Even the baby pictures will be cuter.

And I'm sticking to it.

Ragnar...being the goodest blogger I can be.

Random is the new Saturday...

I've decided that I like the "random" form blogging, it is uniquely suited to those of us who are typing left handed while nursing...and those of us who are suffering from chronic mommy brain, a.k.a. the inability to complete a thought because you are trying to think of 20 things at the same time and suffering from sleep deprivation.

Firstly a fiber link: I got to do a crazy grown up thing. I went to a lecture by Takako Ukei, who is the genius behind Habu Textiles. If I have my facts right, and there is every possibility that I don't, she started Habu as a weaving supplies company, and then got caught up in the knitting tsunami. The yarn is a.m.a.z.i.n.g. Silk and stainless steel? How amazingly cool is that? I sat in the back and nursed through the whole lecture, but it was fascinating anyway. The next morning she taught some Japanese pattern reading workshops, and I'm thrilled to the gills about all the possibilities that opens up. Ava has great pictures on her blog, not just of the lecture, she always has great pictures, and a much more complete write up than I. There's even a Ragnar cameo, and how did she snap that picture without my noticing?

Free to Pee: I know that you are all riveted by my baby's bowels, so let me just give you an update. We started with a bang, going as close to full time as it is possible to do in this day of carseats and cold weather. I saw an immediate improvement in Ragnarson's mood, which was a relief, since he was one cranky mother fucker before hand. I haven't been "catching" (that's EC jargon for going in the potty instead of in the diaper) anymore than I did when we first started, which is about 50%, although higher in the poo category. I was a little too gung-ho about it at first and was whisking him off to the potty at every squirm or squawk. I realized though that this was making both of us crazy. My policy now is to take him to the potty at night before or after feeding him, first thing on waking up in the morning, as soon as possible after waking up from naps, and in between if it feels convenient (i.e. he's in a good mood) and I feel (based on timing and intuition mostly) that this is a "real" signal and not just a mood change. It seems to be working and is definitely more fun than changing diapers (although we are still doing a lot of that as well). This morning his diaper was dry, although he started to pee as soon as I took it off of him, then when I took him to the potty for his morning poo, he peed more...a lot more. Which makes me think that he decided to hold it for the potty...am I crazy?

Secret Pal: I have two apologies to make. Firstly to my secret pal who is now revealed as Jennifer from Craft Knock Out. She did a fabulous job of paling for me, and I have not posted a picture of her next to last care package. She sent some fabulous wine red yarn from a local spinnery, and I have left it sitting on the table so that I have something to remind me that I don't have to buy more yarn, (cough, habu kits, cough). I got my final "reveal" package today, and I can't post pictures of that either because my camera batteries are dead. However, it contained some really beautiful Tilli Tomas yarn with seacell (the seaweed stuff) so that is now sitting next to the wine red skein, so I really remember that I don't have to buy more yarn. (Habu, cough, Habu). My second apology goes to my pal, although she won't see it here. I have her final package packed and waiting for a note before it goes to the post office. In fact it is sitting next to the pile of birth announcements that have yet to be sent...what Ragnar and Manimal had another baby? Oh that baby. What is he, like two now?

Sleep deprivation: up until last night I had been using the baby straight jacket method of inducing long sleep in the baby. It had worked well, giving us 6-7 and yes even 8 hour long stretches of peaceful slumber. But now that he is a big boy of 4 and a half months, he is not so much into the swaddling anymore. Nay, verily he thinks it stinks and throws a big fuss when I try to bundle him up. So last night, for the first time ever, he slept the whole night without the burrito. He has also outgrown his basket (yes, he used to sleep in a basket) so we are now officially co-sleeping again. This doesn't mean so much that there is less sleep, but it is a different pattern than I was used to, so I'm feeling it more. I knew that I would have to give up the swaddle sometime, because it was going to be a real challenge to find blankets large enough to bundle a 3 year old, but I wasn't ready to give it up just yet.

My parenting philosophy. I feel like this is a good rule of thumb for new parents so I want to share it with any of you who might be having piglets anytime soon. There is a lot of stupid advice in the world, so ignore all of it. Do what feels right and natural to you, and don't let anyone tell you any crap about what you should or shouldn't do to make sure that the kid grows up happy and healthy. For instance, nursing. Several parenting books that crossed my path warned that you should never "nurse your child to sleep." Well why the hell not? It's the easiest way to put him to sleep, it ensures that he has a full belly which will make him sleep longer, and it would be a total pain in the ass for both of us if I had to keep waking him up to finish. So here's my advice. If you think that something you are doing is creating bad habits, whatever the hell that means, ask yourself this question. "Is it possible that he will still be doing this when he is 16? How about 20? No? Then do whatever the hell you need to do." Advice columnist out.

And finally a picture: what do you do while someone else is holding your baby?

Ragnar...you knit of course.

Etcetera

Because Mondays are the new random.

1. Car trip, we survived. In response to Granny's query of: "did he ride in his car seat the whole time?" "Yes of course he did, it's illegal and dangerous to ride in a car with an unrestrained infant, besides no baby on earth can nurse for six hours straight." Ha.

B. Free to pee, you and me. You get very strange looks from other rest stoppers when you take your baby into the toilet stall with you and make "pss" noises at him. Also you get rather snide comments from step-great-grandmothers, "let me know how that works out for you." Petoh's granny (my mum) on the other hand: "That is so cool. Grandpa, look at Ragnarson's little potty, isn't that cute?" So far our catch rate is hovering around 50%...this is good as we begin week two.

13. Ravelry, I am in. You can find me under Ragnar. I immediately joined all the groups having to do with skulls.

F. It is snowing.

11b. You can get a lot of knitting done while your extended family is holding your baby.

* I am thankful that Thanksgiving comes but once a year. Two roast turkeys, two fried turkeys, one fried goose, 20 pounds of mashed potatoes, and we lost track around 50 people.

H. We decided to cloth diaper while we were on the road. I admit that this was partially my stubbornness in wanting to demonstrate to my republican family that I am even more of a crunchy freak than they thought I was...result being that I am almost out of diapers, but satisfying to note that it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. Really the only difference was carrying the dirties with us.

3. Ragnarson's grandpapa knit him a very cute soaker with a matching hat. Also a pair of booties using Cat Bordhi's new sock book...they miraculously stay on his feet. I will try to post a picture.

p). Sleeping in your own bed, priceless.

Ragnar...home again, home again.

Beware....new zealot in the making.

There are a bunch of crazy people who don't think their babies need to wear diapers. Actually that's most of the people in the world, but there's a group of "no diaper" rebels operating in diaper wearing countries that call themselves "ECers." Which means "Elimination Communication." Turns out that I'm one of them, except that EC isn't a very catchy title, so around here we're calling it the "Free to Pee" movement, we've been working on it for a little over a day now.

I have learned more about my baby in the last 24 hours than I have since the first week that he was born. Crazy huh? I was always confused by his mood swings, he would go from "smiley guy" to "grumpy face" in the blink of an eye. I just thought he was easily bored, or liked to nurse a lot (he still likes to nurse a lot), but it turns out he just really hates sitting in his own pee. Can you blame him? I would say "What's wrong Ragnarson? I just changed you ten minutes ago, so it can't be your diaper. Are you hungry, do you want to play?" Turns out it can be his diaper, since he pees about every 15 minutes.

Today instead of putting covers over his cloth diapers, I've just left them open, and put legwarmers on him to keep his little knees warm. I'm still getting it figured out, but every time he gets starts to get upset, I hold him over the sink, and usually get a pee. Everytime I decide not to take him, as in "I can't believe you have to pee again, you just went five minutes ago," I still end up taking him because he's wet within a few seconds. It's crazy.

Turns out babies are people, and they don't just get crabby for no reason. Who fuckin' knew?

Which reminds me of a pirate joke.

Stop me if I've told this one before.

This pirate was sorting through his treasure, and he found an old lamp. "I wonder if this be silver," he said,buffing it with a greasy coat tail. A genii popped out and said, "Thanks fer savin me peg leg, I'll grant you a wish, just one mind." "Thas alriight, I only need one wish, 'tis my hearts desire. I wish the sea was filled with rum." *poof* As far as the eye could see the sea was filled with golden rum. The pirate dipped his hat in and took a long drink. The parrot on his shoulder sqwaked "You asshole!" "Whateryou mean?" asked the pirate.

Said the Parrot: "Now we're gonna have to pee in the boat."

Ragnar...free to pee, a bowel movement.

Join the collective...

I think I might have mentioned this before, but it's post or die, so I'm going to mention it again.

I love collective nouns. I think I was a little pre-goth when I found out that a bunch of crows is called a "murder" and a group of ravens is called an "unkindness." After that is was all down hill, and I've been a might bit obsessive about it ever since.

I think it was the great McPhee who first started referring to a group of knitters as "a whack." I'm not sure why that's so appropriate, but it sure seems like the right word. We all know that a bunch of yarn is referred to as a stash, and I always think that spinners come in "whirls." Is there a collective noun for a bunch of knitting needles?

Since I have been steeped in babies lately...yes absolutely marinated in them, I give you "Ragnar's totally incomplete list of collective baby nouns."

A squall of infants.
A clutch of midwives.
or perhaps a pool of midwives would be better.
An insurmountable of laundry (Manimal said the unthinkable about the laundry yesterday, he said "I think we're almost caught up...there has been exactly 15 minutes since the baby was born when there was no laundry waiting to be done.)
A leak of diapers.
An obstacle of toys (will someone please clean up the obstacle in the living room?)

Ragnar...straws, grasp them firmly.

NoBloPoMo

Yeah that would be "no" blog posting month, 'cause it turns out that I'm too busy having play dates and watching DVD's to stick to my commitments.

I have this block that in order to blog I must have pictures, but I blogged for almost a year without pictures...so that's no excuse at all.

So here is a totally random story:

Several years ago I was sitting outside of one of our local middle eastern eateries enjoying a falaful sandwich when a cop car pulled up. I have a totally unwarranted paranoia of cops, I am scandalously (for someone who claims to be a pirate anyway) law abiding, and yet whenever I see a police officer my heart goes pitter pat. Two of the boys in blue got out of the car and commenced to standing around waiting. Then another squad pulls up and two more cops get out...apparently the local brotherhood was planning on have shish-ka-bobs for lunch.

Then a bike cop pulls up, and hops off her bike. She pulls out her handcuffs and proceeds to lock up her bike by hand cuffing it to the front bumper of one of the squad cars.

This is one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

Ragnar...teller of random stories.

Sploded

This is a lousy picture, I couldn't find the "real" camera and Ragnarson was in a good mood. The idea was to put the current knitting project in his hands and take a cute picture of him with it, so that I could tell you all about my hat...I am very excited about this hat.

But when I was looking at the picture I started to laugh, not just because it is a lousy picture which doesn't show off the knitting exactly, but because it so clearly illustates what I do all day. See how there are random bits of crap strewn all over the floor? Here's how it goes:

Oh...oh the baby is crying.
Is he hungry?
No.
Is he wet?
No.
Is he tired?
No
Is he bored?
Who can tell?
Shake toy 1 at the baby...seems to be working, oh oh , no there he goes.
Shake toy 2 at the baby, oh he likes it, oh, no he doesn't like it.
Is he tired of sitting up?
Is he tired of laying down?
How about the fuzzy toy?
How about the rattley toy?
Does he want to be in the sling?
Does he want to bounce on the exercise ball?
Oh, now he's wet.
Oh, now he's hungry.
Oh, now he's tired.

And of course you never have time to put away any of the toys, or his play mat, or his sittin' up chair, or the laundry, or anything else. Basically it looks like "baby" exploded all over our house.

Ragnar....tidy this bitches.

Out of the Running

I never said everyday. Did you hear me say everyday? 'Cause I never said that. I said "regular," that I would be a more "regular blogger." That just means most days...I was going to have to take time off for Thanksgiving anyway since we are going out of town...justify justify.

But I was really going to try and post everyday, and I can't believe I fell off the wagon this soon. Yesterday was very busy. I couldn't post in the morning because Manimal was fidgeting with the computer trying to figure out why the fancy mobile internet card wasn't getting the speed that it should (because we go it from evil phone company, and nothing that we do through them ever works the way it should...nevermind).

Then we had to get some breakfast/lunch which was complicated by the fact that Saturday was the Michigan v. Michigan State grudge match, and every person in town was hung over and looking for greasy breakfast food to soak up the extra alcohol in their stomachs. We ended up at the Lebanese restaurant...apparently hung over college students don't think "schwarma" when they're looking for a post football pick-me-up-off-the-floor. Great, more Arabic Coffee for me.

Then we went to the studio so that I could sew velcro on some soakers that Sarah and my father knit for Ragnarson...he's outgrown his first set of diaper covers, and if that isn't a milestone than what is? The sewing of velcro is not a complicated process but there was no way it was getting done unless Manimal came along to hold the baby, so I had to seize the opportunity.

Then, after a quick stop home, I went out to the birth center for "knitting" group, where I actually knit several rounds on a hat...the subject of another post.

Then when I got home it was dinnertime so we went up to Crunchy's (our Sunday ritual) for pizza.

When we got home I watched half a DVD with Manimal while nursing the baby to sleep.

As I was drifting off I thought, "Oh shit, I didn't blog today...oh well I'll do it in the middle of the night when I wake up with Ragnarson." I woke up several times, and he squirmed a little and seemed like he might wake up several times, but low, he didn't actually awaken until 6:30 this morning. 7 and a half hours. Good baby!

Ragnar...only slightly sleep deprived

On pain of boring...

Turns out I'm sort of a joiner. Never thought I'd have that label pinned on me, but in the interest of trying to be a more regular blogger, in the frequency sense rather than the content sense, I am stating my intention to join NaBlaPoMo. That's not a freaky cult thing, it's National Blog Posting Month.

There is only one problem that I can foresee and that is that the old Blogaroo might come out the other side as a "mommy" blog rather than a "fiber-crafty-piratey-was-that-supposed-to-be-funny" sort of blog. 'Cause that's what I'm doing right now, mommying. In fact I just learned a new internet acronym. "NAK" Stands for nursing at the keyboard, and it takes me down from my reasonably accurate 60wpm, to a typo ridden 15 or so wpm.

I went to mommy group today, it's a gathering of moms out at the birth center. We all bring our babies (this is the precrawlers) and put them down on blankets and wave toys at them and talk about mommy stuff. I am not ashamed to say that I have been looking forward to it all week. I like mommy group so much that I'm trying to start another one at a coffee shop by my house.

Ragnar...tryin' to bring a little pirate into parenting

Internet Frenzy...

I'm LOVING at home internet. The laptop is great, because I can surf and nurse at the same time. Here's a question, is it better to watch crap DVD's while nursing, or surf the internet while nursing? I think both habits fall into the vice category, but I'm trying to convince myself that the internet is better. I mean, typing one handed is a skill right?

I've rediscovered some of my old daily reads, seeing the new things that everyone is doing is very exciting. I was especially inspired by Jodi's MFA thesis project. Rather than describe it here I'll let you go and check it out for yourself. I always love to see other fiber artists and their processes. I think I'm especially enchanted with this project since I have a background in printmaking.

And I decided on the perfect way to celebrate my plugged in status. I have joined the Ravelry cue.

"You signed up on October 30, 2007
You are #51012 on the list.
12331 people are ahead of you in line.
704 people are behind you in line.
68% of the list has been invited so far."

While I am waiting for the 12331 people ahead of me I am going to try and track down and photograph as many finished objects as possible. This will be quite a challenge, since I have given most of them away. After taking a several week break from knitting my wrist is back to normal, as long as I don't knit while nursing. I've been filling in a little bit more at Woven Art since Nancy is off gallivanting around Spain, and there is so much amazing new yarn in the store. Everyday I see another skein that demands to come home with me. I can justify every purchase by saying that I'll knit something for the baby...although at my rate of approximately three rows a day he's going to be a teenager before I have time to knit it all up.

Ragnar...plugged in baby!

Hey guess where I am.

Sitting in my "nursing" chair (formerly known simply as my chair) a ratty but comfortable green recliner, with a sleeping baby on my lap. Yeah, that's right, in my house!

Manimal decided that our internet dependence had reached a point where paying for in-home service was warranted, so we are auditioning "mobile broadband" for a month. So far I'm loving it, and I want to celebrate.

My first thought was to post one of the patterns that I'm always promising to publish, but then I remembered why I haven't done it before. Most of my projects involve charts and I don't have a good method of getting them on to the computer. Basically I need a way of generating a page of graph paper and putting little symbols in the squares. I know, I know, I'm basically a cave woman when it comes to computering, I know this isn't as hard as I'm making it. Any suggestions?

And my second thought was that I should make some more blog friends. So far I've added to my blogroll thusly: someone tells me they blog and I check them out, or I like what they have to say in comments on a blog I already read, or they are notorious (harlot, franklin et al). So how have you all acquired your blogfriends? Anyone out there want to recommend a "must read?"

Since no post lately is complete without a picture of my baby:

He seems to wave his left hand over his head a lot, I call it his "shout out" pose.

Ragnar...in house blogging, who knew?

Catch up post...

So much to say! It seems like it's harder and harder to get up to the hot spot to update the old bloggerino. Ragnarson sleeps less and less every day, so when I manage to get there I can only count on enough cooperation for a quick email to the grandparents, they of the insatiable need for baby pictures.

I dragged the computer along to work today and I'm going to catch up on blogging, dern it.

Ragnarson has made his media debut, check out the State News' profile of Woven Art. Note that the photographer managed to take the picture from an angle that obscured the boob...and for the record he is 10 weeks old, not 10 months.

Yes my baby is wearing legwarmers. This picture is a nice intro to another topic, which is that I can't knit anymore! For some reason my wrist has begun to hurt A LOT, and the pain subsides if I don't knit for awhile. Gee do you think it could be from holding my needles at this crazy angle? But check it out, since I am apparently incapable of doing only one thing at a time, this is my first attempt at toe up socks, and also my first attempt at knitting two socks at the same time. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to knit from both ends of the ball at once, but I guess I thought that that way I would be able to squeeze every last inch of yarn out of the ball (I'm sort of envisioning these as thigh highs). In practice though I spend most of my time untangling yarn and needles and trying to figure out what direction I supposed to be knitting in.

Before my wristy problem set in, I did manage to finish a hat for the Manimal. He was inspired by Ragnarson's Fibonacci legwarmers, and wanted a Fibonacci toque, and it was time for his annual winterhat.

Manimals are hard to photograph in the wild, so you'll have to pardon the blurry, someday we'll get one of those hotshot wildlife photographers in, and we'll get a good photo of him in his natural habitat. Anyway, that hat represents the sum total of knitting accomplished A.B.R. (that would be after the birth of Ragnarson). The red socks in the newspaper photo were started B.B.R. and have only grown by about half and inch, so they don't count.



In other news, my secret pal keeps giving up the goodies.
Although there was a postal tragedy, and I am sorry to announce the death of a really nice lavender scented candle. Judging from the size of the glass fragments (the world pulverized comes to mind) this was the winning package in the interdepartmental postal carriers football championship. You can't pulverize yarn though and this is beautiful stuff, Classic Elite's wool bamboo. I've sworn off lace and scarves, but I think this yarn might have a lacy scarf in it's future. Plus how did my pal know that I'm a sucker for things that come in little tin boxes?

And following my pal's good example, I finally posted to my own secret pal. This box now represents both September and October, but should be all the more fun since it now has more stuff in it, right? Plus I got to go to the drive-thru post office.

I'm sure I had more things to say, but Momma brain has set in...perhaps I'll bring the computer to the store tomorrow as well.

Ragnar...former knitter.

Subliminal Messages...

There are only so many things you can talk about with a baby. Once you’ve exhausted the topics of diapers and milk and “just hold on a minute so mama can eat, get dressed, brush her hair, use the toilet, etc,” there’s just not that much to talk about. We do a lot of bouncing though, which is a rhythmic activity and naturally progresses to singing, Ragnarson seems to like singing, sometimes he coos along, but mostly he doesn’t cry. The only problem is that my repertoire is skewed towards the whiskey and outlaws branch of folk music.

Here are some things that I am teaching my son when he is at his most impressionable:

It’s okay to get drunk, as long as you spend your own money.

If you’re lucky you’ll grow up to be a moonshiner, an outlaw or a hobo.

Church is where you go to meet women.

It’s okay to steal as long as you help the poor.

If your woman is slowing you down, shoot her.

If your wife is a nag, pitch her in the river.

Tu-rum tu-rum fiddley diddley diddy dum.

Landlords are the worst.

If it’s cold and snowy, find yourself a nice warm box car.

Loving a pretty woman almost always ends badly.

Ten shillings will get you a gallon of moonshine.

Never surrender.

Two pistols are always better than one.

You can fit ten million hogs, six million dogs and seven million barrels of porter in the hold of a ship.

There are A LOT of things you can do with a drunken sailor, (although if you slow the tempo and sing more softly, there are a lot of things that you can do with a sleepy baby.)

It’s better to go to the gallows than admit that you’re sleeping with your best friend’s woman.

Love burns, like a ring of fire.
If you don’t have enough money to cover your tab, then you better have friends to fight for you.

Whiskey will get you through times with no women, better than women will get you through times with no whiskey.

Never assume that the corpse at the wake is dead.

There are no policemen in heaven.

If you want to make friends, all you need is a well rosined bow.

If your mama tells you not to play with guns, don’t go off to Reno and shoot a man just to watch him die.

War isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but the farmers’ daughters are okay.

If it wasn’t for the weavers we’d all be neekid.

When you die, a tombstone isn’t as good as a couple of jugs of whiskey.

Behind every outlaw there is a loving mother.

So, anyone know any good lull-a-byes, before I turn Ragnarson into a woman hating alcoholic, living on the wrong side of the law and sleeping in box cars?

Ragnar...hey it's post number 100...huzzah.