Thursday, February 16, 2006

All hopped up on glue fumes

My mother is a collector of folk tales, and so when I was growing up I heard a lot of the “youngest-son-making-his-way-in-the-world-falls-in-love-with-wrong-woman-and-must-perform-some-impossible-task-to-win-his-lady” type fairy stories. A fairly common impossible task was the moving of a great pile of sand from one place to another while using some ridiculously small container…a thimble say. There was always a time limit involved, and the youngest son would always come out all right…usually by whistling to the ants or some such thing and getting them to move the sand for him. Anyway, I have been set an impossible task. My boss has pulled a ridiculous quantity of merchandise off our shelves and is asking me to send it back to the vendor. This is stuff that isn’t selling obviously, and has been sitting here for years…some since before my time, and my time started 6 years ago (ack! Where has my life gone?). So I’m supposed to package it up and write some sort of cover letter that will explain to the warehouse that they should happily take all of this shit (and I mean that in the most literal sense) and put it back on their shelves…and give us a big fat credit. Excuse me while I laugh hysterically.

Here’s the pile of sand with a thimble part though…I’m supposed to take all the price tags off and gussy it up so it looks new. I’m armed with this bottle of glue remover that makes me get dizzy after about 30 seconds, and I’ve got 11 boxes of this crap to go through. Impossible you say? Well tune in next week and find out if I get the princess or not…really I’d settle for a chocolate bar but actually I’m gonna get…nothin’.

It’s sewing night!! Hurrah! A digression for those of you that don’t know what a sewing night is. Sewing night is a Stitch and Bitch ™ type event (no really…that dates back to my great great grandmama Ragnar the Wise, the Stitch and Bitch ™ name has been in my family for generations). I am a quilter and I hang out with quilters and sewers and stitchers of all denominations, and we thought that we would get a lot more done if we tried to gather once a week…or month…or whenever and work on things together. What really happened is that we all took up knitting and none of us has really sewed in forever…so really we should call it knitting night…but for some reason we don’t. A few years ago there was a motion to print up T-Shirts under the name “The Angry Beavers Sewing and Knitting, Ranting and Raving Anarchist Society of Death” but we never quite got around to printing them up.

My self imposed project for sewing night is to get the skull shrug back on track. I am afraid that this will involve picking out more of the stitches around the unraveling arm section…I expect that this will be very irritating and that I will just end up making a bigger hole that I will then decide to put a patch behind…just like I originally thought I should. Damn it though, that’s some damn fine knittin’ and I’d like to wear it for a few months before it starts looking like a falling apart piece of crap.

And I’m off for the weekend, back to the media-free zone, also known as my house. No bloggity blog until Monday when I get back to work, but Monday will be a good day! There will be the sewing night report, and also the Fleece Fair report…and hopefully a tally of the number of quilts I finished over the weekend.



Beverley said...

You may like to try a suggestion I read in "Loop d Loop" last night. The designer had knitted a sweater with a large circluar hole in the back. Then she had picked up around and knitted in an made a medalion [sp?] in the middle.

Of course it depends on how big the hole is!

Ragnar said...

I love that of the truly original books that's come out recently.

Unfortunately this hole is on the edge of what is going to be the neck hole, and I was planning on picking up stitches along the edge and doing a wide ribbed collar, so it would have to be something that fit in off center and would have an edge that could be picked up...I'll let you know.

Atla said...

You've really got to get a digital camera. I want to see that skull shrug!