Monday, April 19, 2010

You might be an attachment parent if...

When I was pregnant with Ragnarson I did a lot of reading about what sort of mom I was going to be...turns out you're just going to be yourself and there is not really anything you can do about it. I remember one conversation with Manimal when I used the term "attachment parenting" and he gave me a funny look and said "I think that's just called 'being a parent.'"

For some reason this all came back to me the other day when I was getting ready to run some errands and was a little late getting out the door because I couldn't find the SECOND baby carrier. Not that I intended to carry both babies, but rather I needed two carriers with different purposes, a pouch for quick in and out errands, and the more complicated Ergo for carrying Ragnarbaby on my back for longer periods of time. Suddenly this struck me as very funny, and I said to myself "You might be an attachment parent if you can't run a few simple errands without two different baby carriers"

And then of course I couldn't stop, so (with a nod towards Jeff Foxworthy) I give you:

You might be an attachment parent if:

You think of WAHM as a legitimate career choice rather than a sound effect in a comic book.

You have ever wondered why you can't buy maternity clothes with nursing slits.

Your idea of a fun night out is getting together with your girlfriends to tell birth stories.

Your baby sleeps in your bed, and your husband sleeps on a futon in the living room.

Your three year old can finger spell "boobies" in American Sign Language.

You've ever experienced a moment of panic because you couldn't remember where you left your baby, only to realize that he's asleep on your back.

Your toddler asks for kale in his smoothie.

You use the phrase "free range" to describe both your eggs and your children.

Your leftovers are stored in empty tubs from Organic BGH free yogurt.

Your lettuce comes from the farmers market, but all your baby toys come from Germany where they have higher lead standards.

You buy separate detergent for your diapers, but never bother separating your lights from your darks.

You think of "stripping" as something that you do to diapers, rather than something that you do with a pole.

You use the word "babywearing" in everyday conversations.

You think of CSA pick up as a playdate.

You've ever been to a potluck where some of the dishes featured parsnips and kale.

Your play-doh is made with organic flour.

You can put on a Moby Wrap in under a minute.

You buy your diapers on Etsy.

You rate your baby carriers by how easy it is to pee while wearing them.

You own several diaper covers that are "hand wash only."

Your baby wears a hat that was knit by your midwife.

You "get" breastfeeding humor, and have several funny breastfeeding stories of your own.

You know Ebay's policy about selling used diapers.

That's all that I've come up with so far, can you think of some?

Ragnar....hippy dippy greeny mommy.


Mouse said...

Hee hee hee. I wasn't able to nurse due to complications (even though I tried like hell with the assistance of a LLL friend) I definitely get the baby-wearing, bed-sharing & cloth diapering humor. I have some really cute photos of Munchkin in his MayaWrap that I should post one day.. you'd appreciate them.

scpreisser said...

I love this list. I might add one about the medicinal properties of breastmilk... Say maybe you use breastmilk as a cure-all and have even squirted some in the baby-daddy's eyes...?

Ragnar said...

I was also thinking of one as breastmilk as an ingredient, like "you have recipes for cheese and ice cream that feature breast milk as the main ingredient"

Anonymous said...

How 'bout:
Your three year old son pretends to breastfeed his waldorf doll...

true story ;)