Fourth Annual...

Today is my Fourth Annual 30th birthday! Usually I have a big pirate themed blow out, but what with one thing and another I didn't feel up to planning the Buccaneer Bacchanal this year, so I'm having a quiet dinner with friends. Perhaps this is an indication that I am maturing, but then again perhaps not. I'm still thrilled to death to get things with skulls on them, so it's not like the pirate obsession is wearing thin.

My inability to simultaneously renovate my house, get ready for art fairs and plan a birthday party blowout is not the only indication that something is "up" with me lately. Here's a list of things that might have tingled your spider sense had you been hanging out with me lately.

1. Elastic. I fuckin' love that shit. Almost every article of clothing I own that doesn't rely on elastic for a comfy fit has been shifted to the "store for indefinite period of time" pile.

2. Vitamins and Supplements. Every morning I take a hand full of pills that would choke an average horse, and have enough left over to choke a chicken or a muskrat as well.

3. Bras. In the best of time I hate bra shopping, and during the summer whilst in the midst of a major construction project and art season is not the best of times. None the less, I have been bra shopping several times, and plan on going again soon.

4. Clothes. I'm not hard to shop for, clothing only needs to fulfill two basic functions. It should cover my body, without resorting to frills, ruffles, writing or any other superfluous decoration of any kind, and it should be black. So how to explain the fact that my new favorite outfit is a pair of men's size 42 denim overalls with a generous "beer gut" cut? I have appeared in public wearing it several times, and even wore it at the art festival, although I don't think it helped my "artist" persona any.

5. Alcohol. Haven't had a whole beer in as long as I can remember. I "taste" what Manimal is drinking, out of fear that I will lose my taste for it, but I haven't tied one on in a coon's age. This perhaps explains my lack of enthusiasm for party planning. What is a pirate party with out several gallons of rum? It's a bunch of middle aged losers standing around if funny clothes.

6. Coffee. I try not to drink espresso more than every other day. Sometimes I succeed at this, sometimes i don't, but I try gosh durn it, and I haven't had brewed coffee in...well as long as I haven't had a beer.

7. I look like I've been shop lifting bowling balls by sticking them down the front of my pants.

Any guesses?

Ragnar....it's good to be 30, again.