Monday, May 15, 2006

Certified!!

What? It's not enough to have a blog, now I have to update it as well?

I'm at Jiggy's house, I'm supposed to be kegging beer for the pirate party (5 days, panic panic), but the lure of a computer with internet is impossible to resist...so here I am.

So you can probably tell by the fact that I have a blog, and the fact that I am obsessed with skulls and wear black all the time, that I am a total nerd. I come by it naturally though, I've been a nerd for most of my life. When I was in Jr. High, a friend and I convinced the school administrators that rather than going outside for recess, that we should be "allowed" to hang out in the Library and reshelf books...does it get more geektastic than that? I think not. There is a point to this though.

Point: as the certified nerdling that I was/am I devoured the Hitchhiker's Guide books when I was younger, my parents even bought me the set of tapes of the BBC broadcast version. And since, as a nerdling, I considered myself an outsider and a loner, my favorite character was...Marvin! The paranoid android. For those of you who are not nerds (and what are you doing reading blogs if you aren't?) Marvin is like the Eeyore of the Sci-fi genre, one of his big lines was "I'll just sit in the corner and rust." But wait there's a point to this.

Point: as one of the great unwashed it's my responsibilty to "certify" my continued unemployment every other week by calling the Michigan Automated Voice Response Interactive Network...and if you follow the capital letters you'll see that it's my old buddy! I call, Marvin answers and says "welcome to the Michigan Automated Voice Response Interactive Network, you can call me Marvin." And if that guy had a British Accent I would have sworn they hired the actor who played Marvin for the BBC. Then I have to certify...basically tell them that I'm still unemployed, by pushing "1" for yes and "9" for no. It's the most surreal thing I've ever done in my life...but two days later I get a check!! Freaky...but my love of the Paranoid Android has been repayed after all these years.

And "certify" cracks me up as well. It makes me think of those evangelical church services where everyone is supposed to testify about their faith in the lord.

Oh Marvin! I certify Marvin! I certify! I am able to work, I am willing to work! Marvin! Ain't no body offered me work, and I ain't refused no work. Send me that check!

Of course there's always certified, as in certifiable, as in insane.

Ragnar...certified knitting content next week I promise, the saga of the Vicon sweater, in all it's sordid glory.

3 comments:

Imbrium said...

But...but...but...

It should be MAVRIN.

Yeah, I know Marvin is better, but....

Ragnar said...

Ach...wait, you're right. It's actually the Michigan Automatic Response Voice Interactive Network.

Jiggy, you proof read this one for me, how did you miss that?

Sheesh

adrien-alice said...

hey, lady. I hit LAN (that's your airport code, in case yuo ever need it) at 6:04 on Friday. And them I'm whatever you pirates call the extra pair of hands.

Do y'all need bourbon, or is this a strictly rum-only occassion? Let me know. I'm getting my frilliest pirate gear together for your wee one.

(we'll be crank calling marvin all weekend, right?)