Shh..it's a secret.

I arrived home at about 11 o'clock on Saturday night, after a mini-road trip to visit a friend who lives about an hour away. I thought I was ready for bigger field trips, but apparently this was a little bigger than Ragnarson and I could take because I was literally weeping with exhaustion. Stumbling into the house I almost tripped over a couple of packages that had been tucked in between the door and the screen. I had ordered a few baby things last week, long sleeve onsies, diaper covers...really exciting shit right? so I didn't think much of it. I dropped them in my chair and staggered off to bed, hoping for a few minutes of sleep before Ragnarson woke up for his midnight nosh.

So I didn't take a close look at the packages until the next morning. One of them was baby stuff, but the other had a mysterious post mark from Wisconsin...who do I know in Wisconsin? No one that would be sending me things.

What ho? A package full of piratey swag and yarn? Yay for secret pals who send packages timed to arrive precisely when you need a little pick me up!

Ragnar...I can take non-blurry photos, I swear.

Arrr you talking to me?

It seems like everyday is “something” day. Hug a Monkey Day, National Eat Your Brussel Sprouts Day, International Day of Random Violence etc. Usually they go uncelebrated except by a select few, probably those who lobbied to have it proclaimed in the first place. Not so International Talk Like a Pirate Day. Everyone celebrates ITLPD. Ragnarson’s grandparents even sent him a ITLPD card, with a pirate themed T-shirt so that he wouldn’t be caught out with nothing to wear to the party.

You might be familiar with Highland Games like the Caber Toss and The Guess What I’ve Got Under My Kilt Contest, but unless you are a really dedicated Pirate Talker, you probably aren’t familiar with the Pirate Games.

These include, the Wench Press:

X-Marks the Spot, which is sort of a treasure, hunt:

The Bilge Water Drinking Contest:

And Who’s Got the Baby?:

I couldn’t tell you who the winners were, because I was too far gone from the Bilge Water Drinking Contest and I didn’t make it to the awards ceremony.

Anyway, if you weren’t there, you shoulda been. We had a parrot…

And Melanie made me a dangerous, but delicious cappuccino.

But now I have the post ITLPD blues, knowing that it's all over until next year. I will cope by making elaborate plans that in spite of my best intentions will not be undertaken until the last minute.

Ragnar....keep on talkin'

Arrrrr you ready?

It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day tomorrow, you lubberly scallywags. Arrrr you ready to get yer plunder on? If yer liferaft washes up near Lansing (and that would be a feat, since we're landlocked here) you better take your booty down to The Caffe on Michigan Ave, where we will be drinkin' our coffee black, and talkin' like the lowest, scurviest, most dastardly pirates it was ever your ill luck to cross cutlasses with. Ragnarson will be there, representing for the Vikings, the pirates of the north.

See you there, or see you in Davy Jones locker!

Ragnar...if you're a pirate, then whatever you say is talkin' like a pirate, in'it?

Urban Babysitting...

There's a theory of new motherhood known as the "babymoon." You lounge around the house bonding with your baby for the first month or so, and keep the visitors to the minimum. This gives mom a chance to recover from delivery and get to know her baby, gives dad a chance to snuggle with his new family, and everything gets off to a rosy start.

Sounds good in theory right, but I'm not a sitting around the house kinda girl. The first week yes, I needed the rest and recuperation, and even the second week I kept "fieldtrips" to a minimum. After that though? Where are we going to go today Ragnarson? I'm not talking about a full day of running errands, or anything like that, just one "getting out of the house," expedition per day. Sometimes we would meet Eli for lunch, last Sunday we went to the yarn store...but usually we go to "the caffe."

I don't know if I've blogged about the caffe before, but it's a local coffee roastery which is cool in and of itself. The crazy thing about the caffe however, are the irregulars. If you come in more than once, you are adopted into the family, and the next time you come in you can expect to be greeted by name. It took me awhile to get used to this actually, since I'm not a touchy lovey type of girl...but the coffee is so good I couldn't stay away, and I'm used to it now.

When they found out that I was pregnant the first question was "can we be part of your village?" At the time I said "sure," thinking, "village, whatever." But that was before I had a 26 day old baby. When you have a newborn the idea of a village becomes really appealing.

Our morning ritual: sleep in as long as possible, then get up and nurse for exactly 15 minutes on each side (the minimum amount required to travel the 5 blocks up to the caffe). Bundle the baby into one of our many baby carriers. (I went baby carrier crazy, I have 5 of them). Walk up to the caffe and pass the baby off to anyone sitting at the bar, this gives me time to order a cappuccino and possibly even take a sip before he wants to nurse again. Whoever has him will bring him back to me as soon as he starts crying, so it works out pretty well. Then he'll nurse for awhile while I do a crossword puzzle or (yay!) update the blog, and when he's done (okay, he's never done, when I pry him off after an hour or so) I pass him over to someone else and finish my (now lukewarm) cappuccino. It's friggin fantastic! Before he was born I mentally committed myself to "in arms" parenting, meaning no strollers, no cribs, keeping him close to me while I'm working throughout the day, etc. I still think that it's important, but I've realized that it doesn't always have to be my arms he's in.

The other great thing is that there is another couple at the caffe who have a six week old baby, so at times there will be two nursing babies hanging out at the coffee bar. Always a plus when you're getting used to nursing in public.

Things I just realized yesterday. 1). the computer fits in the diaper bag. 2). while Ragnarson is being passed around by all and sundry I could theoretically knit something!

Ragnar...bring me my village!!

Baby blogging...

It is fascinating to realize that I could have been pregnant for 38 weeks and not grasp the fact that I would be ending up with a newborn baby. I thought to myself "baby," not realizing that truly new babies never leave the house and that I had never actually met one.

So here's the dish on newborns, they have exactly six tricks: sleeping (which they don't do nearly enough of), eating (which they do ALL the time, even when they are sleeping), squalling, flailing their arms about (which complicates sleeping and eating and frequently results in squalling), creating dirty diapers (also non-stop), and occasionally cooing and looking around in a way that makes you think they might turn into a human being at some point. And the crazy thing about being a new mom is that all of this is enchanting and endlessly fascinating.

Actual quote from Ragnar to baby: "Oh, do you have a pooey diaper? Pooey ooey diaper."

Embarrassing but true.

The grandparents were in town last week which meant I got to do things like take naps, and showers....I think I even brushed my teeth at some point. Mostly their visit consisted of me nursing the baby and them being grandparents, by which I mean that they were endlessly fascinated by all six of baby's newborn skills.

At some point though we got to talking about all the different baby organizations, and how people can get so obsessed about certain aspects of babies and parenting. Like N.I.N.O. who think babies should get nine months of being carried on the outside in addition to the nine months on the inside...I agree coincidentally. And La Leche League, the breastfeeding enforcers, who I also agree with, but people get sort of weird about breastfeeding and breastmilk, and it all gets to be a bit much.

Example: Storknet has a recipe for breastmilk cottage cheese. First ingredient? 16 cups of breastmilk. Yeah. Okay. Because I've got an extra 16 cups of breastmilk that needs to be turned into cheese. Uh-huh.

Or even creepier: Mother's milk ice cream. Check out that logo, perky pink nipples and everything. I can't tell for sure but it seems to be someone's school project, but the idea of a commercially available ice cream made from human milk brings up some questions...like who exactly are they milking?

Ragnar....it's all I do, so it's what I'm thinkin' about.

Look what I made!

Okay, Manimal helped a little bit, but I did all the carrying and pushing and stuff like that...and it's going to be really hard for me to resist shouting "I was in labor for 69 hours!" the next time I see a pregnant woman.


And since then it's been nothing but nurse nurse nurse all the time, apparently my milk bar is open 24 hours a day whether I like it or not, and I have not mastered the art of nursing and knitting, although I've been told it's possible. And I have to get it figured out because he's teeny weeny and I need to knit more soakers since the ones that I made while pregnant come up to his armpits.





I will try not to turn this into a baby blog, but it will be very hard. Harder even than my resolution not to talk to him in baby talk. The day after he was born I had him sitting in my lap and I was cooing and gahing at him, and Rat Girl gave me a look somewhere between amazement and disgust and said "I have never heard you talk like that." So a certain amount of baby will probably sneak through, but I'll try to keep it knitting related.

See? It's not a baby, it's a baby in a knitted hat.

Ragnar...stupid happy mama.

And speaking of craft...

I've been knitting a lot lately. Knitting is a good thing to do when you are sitting around waiting, (and waiting). My attention span is microscopic though, so mostly I've been knitting things like this: Baby hats can be finished in about 3 hours, making them the perfect thing to knit while sitting around trying to decide if you are actually in labor or if you're just having more braxton hicks "practice" contractions. My uterus has had so much practice contracting... yeah nevermind.

Have I mentioned the fact that I love! love Nancy's Kona Superwash? There are obvious reasons for this, like the washable, merino-ness of it, and the hand-dyed wonderfulness, but there are purely material reasons as well. Like the seemingly never ending skeins. It comes in 8oz bundles, which is just under 600 yards, in the $22 to $28 range (depending on if it's hand-dyed or hand painted...) which makes it about $5 an ounce...for washable hand-dyed Merino, and it's all in one beautiful chunk that you can knit off of forever! Bliss!

Needless to say when this orange showed up in the store it had to come home with me, and the black as well, since they go so well together, but after knitting a microscopic baby hat I have A LOT of yarn left over. After the hat I started these legwarmers:

If you are a geeky like me you'll notice that the pattern is based on the fibonacci number sequence. I have been told that legwarmers are very practical baby gear, since they facilitate diaper changes....although since it's 90 freakin' degrees out, I doubt that wooly leg warmers will be high on the list as far as outfits go.

As I near the end of the second legwarmer (only 8 more rows to go) I still have a crap load of yarn left-over. I have this insane urge to only knit baby stuff out of this yarn, to answer that age old question: "How much baby stuff can you knit out of a pound of wool?" I'm sort of out of ideas though, so I thought I'd open it up to the bleaders....what should I knit next?

Ragnar...still pregnant, for now.

PS...I do have plans to post some of these patterns. It has long been my intention to be one of the "cool" kids with free patterns on my blog, but it's that attention span thing. I really only have one thing on my mind at the moment and it doesn't leave very much room left over for writing patterns.

Push my buttons...

It seems like my blogging is taking on sort of a pattern lately...no posty for awhile and then two posts on the same day. I suppose I could combine these into one big mega post, but somehow it seems more appropriate to divide them up along subject lines.

Firstly I wanted to weigh in on something that Imbrium brought up over at Nerd Knits, and

Secondly a knitting update.

So Imbrium got her panties is a twist over an article that she read in “Real Simple.” I haven't read the article, and confess to not liking the magazine very much (a little too much “simple” and not enough “real” for my taste), so first of all go over to Nerd Knits and read what she had to say. She touches on some of the issues of this debate that never fail to get the metaphorical fly up my butt, specifically the gender divide between "crafty" and "arty" pursuits. She is as always insightful and well spoken (written). That being said this is one of my push button issues, as in push Ragnar's button and stand back because it will take her awhile to wind down.

Consider me "pushed."

The “craft” vs. “art” debate is something that I've been bumping up against for a long time. My bachelor's degree is in “fine art” whatever the fuck that is, and I joke that this gives me a legit claim to the title “artist,” (pronounced with a long ahhhh). While I was studying art I concentrated on printmaking, and bronze casting, which interestingly enough are both areas of art that have been denigrated in the past as being too close to craft to be considered “real” art. Printmaking gets hit because of the reproductive aspect; sure the first one might be “art” but what about the next 250? Bronzecasting admittedly hasn't been subjected to the “craft” label since the Renaissance, but the material was considered to be of lesser quality than other substances because it was an industrial material, and the skill required to craft it was less than the skill required to sculpt marble where one wrong strike of the chisel could ruin months of careful workmanship. When Michelangelo wanted to sculpt in bronze he had to take his model into another city-state and find a group of cannon makers to cast it for him. The Greeks sculpted mostly in bronze but the Romans made copies of them in Marble and then melted the originals down...to use as cannons. Anyway, the important thing to note is that as an artist I am attracted more to those mediums which require a mastery of craft, than those which lend themselves more to pure expression, so consider that to be the full disclosure of my crafty predjudices.

My other major pursuit in college was working in the costume shop, I did a lot of costume design while I was in high school, and thought that that would be my major in college. I quickly realized that I needed more freedom of expression than theater would allow me, but I still enjoyed sewing and was lucky enough to land a work study job in the costume shop. Both my printmaking prof and my sculpture prof made no secret of the fact that they thought I was wasting my time with sewing. When I mentioned printing on cloth I was told “this is not the happy craft hour,” and when I was working late nights in the sculpture studio trying to get my portfolio together I was told that I needed “stop fucking around with this fabric shit.” Sort of hard to take that as anything but hostile. Had I been working my 15 work study hours in the library reshelving books, I doubt that I would have heard lectures on how I “needed to stop fucking around with books,” but because my job happened to involve the “craft” of sewing, it was somehow taking me away from the important work of creating “art.”

Interestingly enough now that I am out of school my primary medium is fabric, specifically quilting, and when people ask me what I do I am equally likely to introduce myself as an artist or as a quilter. Admittedly I'm being slightly bloodyminded when I tell people that I'm a quilter, since I know that they look at my black clothes, my fuck-all attitude, my skull and cross-bones bumper stickers and try to reconcile that with the quilts their grandma used to make. Inevitably when someone sees my work they will say something like: “Oh you're an Artist,” as if I was selling myself short by using the lesser label of “quiltmaker.” I could of course call myself a “fiber artist,” which is the category that I apply in when I do art shows, but I feel like that's even more confusing. Fiberart is a catch all phrase that includes, wearables (down to and including pictures of kittens glued on to sweatshirts with puffy paint, but also hand dyed silk kimonos), baskets, weaving (both functional and non), leather, dollmaking etc. I feel like I owe it to my craft (yes I embrace that word) to call it what it is. It's a quilt. I make no distinction between artist and quilter, although after working in a quilt shop for 6 years, I know that the majority of the quilters in the world are not artists. That's not to say that they don't do great work (although there are a lot of really awful quilts in the world), it's just not approached with the attitude of an artist.

To me the distinction between art and craft lies mostly in the attitude of the maker. I think that if you make a soap dish, or a wind chime, or a wreathe for your front door out of silk flowers that you bought at Michael's and hot melt glued together with polyester ribbon, and you approach it with the attitude of an artist, whatever that means to you, then you are making art and screw anyone who says differently. Hot melt glue is an extremely useful thing if you use it in applications that are appropriate. Similarly if you sit down and a paint a still life because you need something to fill up the hole on the wall and you want something to match the couch, no matter how technically accomplished it is, it's not going to be art.

The British have a term that I really like: “maker.” Which basically means someone who makes things, specifically things that don't fall into the category of art. When we call someone a craftsperson, we aren't using it as a job title, and it's usually applied somewhat condescendingly. I think the word “artisan,” comes close, but it has that misleading “art” stuck in the front of it. My understanding of the word “maker” is someone who works with their hands, carefully crafting things, taking pride in their product, but who doesn't feel the desire to classify themselves as an artist. On my business cards I give myself three titles: artist, designer and maker. I feel like that encompasses most of what I do. Even my art is done in a somewhat makerly spirit. I spend a couple of hours composing a new design, and then dozens more crafting it. The fun creative part is over very quickly and the boring sweatshop part takes much longer...then when it's done and I hang it on the wall and realize... "oh yeah, I'm making artwork here.”

The word “craft” has so much more depth of meaning than art. Art carries a lot of baggage around with it. Craft has become associated with the world of Michael's, Jo Ann's, kits and projects, but it also can refer to the quality of craftsmanship, meaning that something is done with care, attention to detail and a high level of quality that can't be duplicated by machine, or by someone working in haste. To say that something was done with “old world craftsmanship,” is high praise indeed. To call some “crafty” is to imply that they are not only wise, but somewhat sly and tricky as well. Conversely if you say that someone has an “artistic” temperament, you're probably implying that they are creative and quirky, but also unreliable and self-centered.

So what am I saying? Basically that I'd rather be the crafty old woman than the flighty artist, even though “artist” is what I put under “profession” when I fill out my tax returns.

End of Rant...

Ragnar....just prop me up on my soap box and tie me to the mizzen mast.

Secret Pal...

Everyone else was having so much fun with the Secret Pal stuff that I decided that I wanted to play along as well. So it's a two post day. If regular bleader's don't want to know my preferences in knit gear you can all skip this post:

1. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?

I am a sucker for the Kona Superwash from Woven Art (new website coming soon!). It's a no frills washable Merino. I am basically inclined to knit with solid colored (or not super "painted" hand-dyed) smooth yarns, but as far as wool, cotton, silk, linen etc. there is nothing I wouldn't take home with me. I leave you the fun furs and eyelashes of the world. They have no place in my stash.

2. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in?

One of these: only mine has skulls on it, and if any of you want one, let me know and I'll make you one. You can even tell me how many pockets, which fabrics, etc.

3. How long have you been knitting & how did you learn? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced?

I've been knitting for about 4 years and was originally self taught. I knit backwards for six months or so until someone pointed out to me that you knit through the front loop, not the back loop. Duh. Mostly I figure out new techniques by making lots and lots of mistakes and reknitting many projects. I think it's safe to say that I'm an advanced intermediate knitter.

4. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?

I have a baby wish list on Kaboodle, but as it's mostly diapers and more diapers, it's nothing you should concern yourself with.

5. What's your favorite scent?

I'm pretty partial to Lavender, it's good for my blood pressure.

6. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy?

I have an intermittent sweet tooth, I will eat sweet stuff all day one day and then avoid it for weeks. Dark chocolate is always appreciated.

7. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Do you spin?

I do it all I'm embarrassed to say. Fiberwise I am a quilter, knitter, spinner, and new weaver. I can crochet if I have to, and I have been known to dye things. I also cook, grow things (when I can bend, not while I'm 39 weeks pregnant), can things etc. And did I mention we are remodeling our house. I suspect I'm going to be an A+ #1 drywaller by this time next year.

8. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)

I'm sort of a "classic" heavy metal/punk kinda girl, but I also like "good" country and bluegrass and some out there new stuff (Rasputina! cello playing women in underwear...can't beat it with a stick)

9. What's your favorite color(s)? Any colors you just can't stand?

It's not so much that I'm against pink, I'm against what pink stands for...except you know, pink triangles, those are fine. I mean in the gender classification, sit still and be a good girl so you don't get your dress dirty sense of the hue. So yeah, not so much pink. My closet has a lot in common with Johnny Cash, the man in black: it's dark in there, with spots of grey, red and brown. I like to knit in color though. I'm and fair isle, intarsia, mosaic freak. I like strong colors and saturated hues, especially reds and oranges but as long as they look good together that's fine with me. Just not pink.

10. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?

I live with the Manimal, the father of my soon to be born, and we have partial custody of his daughter Rat Girl. We have a cat, or perhaps the cat has us. She is named for the sound that a cat makes when you throw it over board...Splash.

She is helping us figure out all of our new baby carriers. She likes the Mei Tai...or maybe she just couldn't get out of it.

11. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos?

I wore a poncho once when I was about 6 years old..since then, not so much poncho. I like scarves, am obsessed with hats (admittedly more the knitting of them than the wearing of them, but I wear them too) and can never find my mittens.

12. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?

Right now it's baby anything, but mostly soakers. I also knit many hats, mostly of the bizarre and unwearable variety.

13. What are you knitting right now?

The UFO file runneth over. Let's see, I think we're down to three unfinished sweaters for me, they won't fit for awhile so why bother. I just started reknitting the Rat Girl sweater:

It's not so much like frogging if you just knit off of the the old piece right? And then there's the teddy bear (body stuffed, but no arms yet), the baby sack, and random other pieces that are so far gone they're not in the active file anymore. As soon as I can get a few of them wrapped up I have promised Manimal a Gansy.

14. Do you like to receive handmade gifts?

Yes please.

15. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?

I'm an Addi Turbo Whore. I love those things, and I prefer circulars. Bamboo is lovely but doesn't stand up to my aggressive knitting style....that would be tight.

16. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift?

I am semi-permanently borrowing both from a friend who has fallen from the true faith...that would be knitting. I suspect that when she's done with this PhD thing that's taking up all her time she will want them back. I work at a yarn store though, so I have access.

17. How old is your oldest UFO?

That would be the "free wool" sweater. Started spinning for it when I first started spinning, and that was at least 3 years ago. It's almost done, I just have to reconcile myself to ripping out the top half of the second sleeve.

18. What is your favorite holiday?

Seriously I like the solstices and the equinoxes. I don't celebrate them in any special way, I just like to observe them. And not seriously there's international talk like a pirate day, and also my birthday, which is just like talk like a pirate day.

19. Is there anything that you collect?

Hmm...I have sort of a collection of pirate stuff, it's not conscious so much as incidental. I also collect fabric with skulls, flames, or any other cool print on it (Alexander Henry, I love you so) (at least 1 yard pieces), and yarn of course.

20. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have?

I've been looking at rogue for years, trying to justify buying a pattern for what is essentially a stockinette sweater with a cable on it...I mean, that pretty much describes the three unfinished sweaters in my stash bin...so why should I get another one (but it's sooooo purty). There's also a really cute pattern on etsy for baby booties that look like chuck taylors. I also pick up "vintage" knitting books and patterns anytime I see them, some for entertainment and some because the patterns are really good. I don't subscribe to anything because if I like it one month I hate it the next, Interweave Knits is consistently the best.

21. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn?

All of them. I'm obsessed with adding to my "arsenal" of available skills. I'm working on Mosaic right now, and I'm anxious to improve my dying techniques.

22. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements?

I don't wear hand knit socks (you just can't beat wigwam silk/merino hiking socks, my feet feel good just thinking about them) but Manimal does and although I don't generally knit socks, I have promised to knit him one pair a year. I wear a size 10 at the moment, we shall see if I am still a 10 after I am unpregnant again.

23. When is your birthday?

May 22nd. The year is not important to anyone, I'm 30. I have been 30, and I will continue to be 30 until I get really good at it and they let me go on to the next level.

24. Are you on Ravelry? If so, what's your ID?

I've thought about it, but honestly just schleping the laptop up to the cafe is almost too much for me, so I've decided to exempt myself. I'll breakdown sometime next year and then I will be 102,457,098th on the waiting list. I'm okay with that.

Ragnar...you are now returned to regularly scheduled blogging.

The finish line...

Lots of things are finishing up around here. First and most important to me is the fact that Ragnarson is due a week from today! Yay! Although many an overdue Mom has warned me that that means nothing and he might hang in for several more weeks. He is related to both me and Manimal so the lateness is not so much a possibility as a probability, but seriously, my waist, how I've missed it. It's not just the bending and the backaches, it's the fact that waists actually do a lot of work, like holding up skirts and pants.

If you want to see an embarrassing picture of me with my pregnant ass belly hanging out, you will have to come up with a compelling reason for me to lose what dignity I have and post it on the blog.

I suspect that babies have a sixth sense about whether or not you've finished all their sweaters and booties, so I've been finishing like mad, just in case he is hanging on in there until he's sure there will be plenty of knitwear out here for him. Not that he'll need it since it's been 90+ degrees here on the "outside."

This is the "sue" sweater from Elspeth Lavold's Designer's Choice 6. It is knit out of silky wool, which I fell in love with after knitting the golden harvest hat. It's actually going to be a shop sample for awhile until Ragnarson grows into it, I'm going to teach a "knitting for babies" class, and this is a great, stylish beginner's project. I have every confidence that an absolute beginner could tackle this with good results. We will knit, we will purl, we will make button holes, decrease and pick up stitches.

I also finished the strange brown sweater, I'm hoping it will look better when it's actually on a baby, so I'm not showing it here. It has a shawl collar, which persists in curling oddly in spite of the fact that I tried no fewer than 4 different bind off techniques...ah well. Babies are cute, so they can wear sort of wonky sweaters right?

And Manimal's socks are done just in time for the Woven Art, Hand-dyed, Hand-knit show...but like I said it's been 90 degrees out so he won't want to wear them for a month or so at least right?

You can't tell from this picture, but they actually have a really nice depth of color. Come by the shop next weekend and check out lots of customer projects that have been knit out of Nancy's yarn. You can also peek at my weaving which has almost passed the half-way point. My unreachable goal is to have it off the loom before the baby comes, so that Nancy's not stuck with a half woven blanket for a month or so while I adjust to being a mommy...yes yes, I hear the collective cackle. Thanks.

And I finally finished the last 6 inches of I-cord on the Intarsia pillow. It was an interesting experiment in deciding that something should work and then making it happen. I wanted a "piping" effect around the edge of the pillow so I combined a three needle bind-off with an i-cord bind off and I think it worked pretty well.

We have been practicing our new parent skills on this stuffed gorilla. We call him Monkey baby, and here he is modeling my first attempt at knitting a "soaker." For those not in the know, a soaker is a diaper cover which crunchy cloth diapering mom's everywhere assure me are "the bomb" as far as diapering accessories go. When you treat the wool with Lanolin it becomes moisture resistant, I hesitate to say "proof" because there really is no such thing with babies is there?

It's all soakers all the time at my house these days, here's an in progress shot of a pull on variety. This is actually left over yarn from the intarsia pillow. Cute no? I tried to make the skulls sort of friendly and baby like...uhm yeah. My poor baby is probably going to be one of those sensitive poet types, but when he looks back at his baby pictures it's going to be nothing but skulls and flames.

See you all next weekend at the Hand-dyed show! If I'm not in labor that is.

Ragnar...skully diapers baby!

Dum dah dum dum...

Cue ominous music. It's sort of hard to take a scary picture of a sock, but I think foreshortening is photographic code for spooky.

So there's Manimal's first sock. I had to reknit the heel once, and the toe once, but that's pretty much on par for me and sock knitting.

But the spooky part comes in here:That would be one the heel flap of the second sock. I thought at first that I was just distracted, because I was knitting at birth class (you have to go to birth classes, because otherwise you won't know how to have a baby) and they were showing videos of newborn babies "rooting" response. Basically a baby will find the nipple on it's own if s/he is left alone, but watching a 20 minute old baby flop around and peck at it's mother's breast until it comes up with a nipple is singularly hilarious. I now think of my unborn son as the naked mole rat baby. Anyway, it was very funny and I thought it was conceivable that I had miscalculated the number of stitches in the heel flap. But I knit it twice and still not the right number of stitches.

Then I knit it twice more when I wasn't at birth class and still not the right number of stitches.

How is this possible? These socks are possessed. Actually every sock I've ever knit is possessed because this always, always happens. Perhaps this is why I avoid knitting socks.

I am sock cursed.

So what do you do when you are sock cursed?

Well I don't know what other people do, but I'm going to weave. This whole process is thusfar misleading, because the first inch and a half is to straighten out the warp so that you can weave the "real" thing, and the second inch is the "hem" so that you don't have to have fringe....not that I really have anything against fringe, but basically I have about 1 and 1 quarter inches of actual "blanket" here. Of course I was only at it for an hour and a half....not including the "warping." I'm sure the next 43 and 3 quarters inches will go much faster.Ragnar...I loomed!

Putting the "in" in Spin.

Woven Art has sponsored a "Knit in" every second Sunday almost since the store was started 2+ years ago, and I always try to go. Recently the third Sunday has become "Spin in" Sunday, as well as any 5th Sundays that might come along. In spite of the fact that this was MY idea (not that I'm a greedy, credit monger or anything, but it was) I haven't been able to make it to one yet.

Until yesterday that is.... In case you can't recognize me, I'm the one with the 9 month pregnant belly...and to my right (that would be your left) is Sarah of Handknitter fame, notice that she is knitting, not spinning. There are many other knitting celebs of course including some sewing night regulars, but none of them have blogs and are therefore not linkable. But look! The comfy couch is empty, just waiting for more spinnerly goodness, and July is one of those crazy months with a 5th Sunday. You don't have to spin (apparently) so what's your excuse?

I do have some finished (ish, buttons don't count do they?) items to show, and an almost finished sock (the first one, but I'm counting it damn it) but I've had a crazy week. Check out the house blog to see what's been occupying my time (hint...my house is now a one story, a very breezy one story). I'm limited in what I can do during the heavy demo phase, although I do try to show up at least once a day for moral support, and because it's so exciting to see everything get destroyed.

This is Rat girl and my knee sitting in the backyard watching the roof come off, notice the knitting? I figure knitting socks for Manimal (his heart's desire at the moment, but don't remind him about that sweater that I promised him two years ago) is sort of like helping on the house right? My previous job was manning the burn barrel.

But the Fire Marshal stopped by and explained that burning tons (literally, we figure we managed to burn a whole dumpsters worth at least) of construction debris in your backyard is not really legal and that he would prefer it if we stopped. Sure thing, Mr. Marshal, won't happen again. So I am out of a job, although I hope to be of some use during the Con-struction phase, rather than the de-struction phase.

Ragnar...it's 'cause my belly gets in the way of the sledge hammer.

Summer yeech....

I'm finding out all sorts of things about myself this summer. Apparently I am the type of person who complains about the weather. I always assumed that I would be grey haired and feeble before I didn't have anything better to do than sit around and bitch about how hot it is...but really! I'm thinking of opening up the dashboard on my car and putting a little piece of black tape over the temperature gauge. I really don't want to know that it's 98 degrees outside. If anything it just make me feel more sticky and miserable.

So where do you go when it's hot and nasty, you're covered with drywall dust and insulation and your fingers and toes are all puffed up like little sausages? (okay, maybe I'm the only one who has to worry about that one). Where else but Hell?

Actually we go to a little lake that's just outside of Hell and we float around on those silly looking noodle things and generally just bask in the cool watery wonderfulness of it all. Then if we still need a little bit more "summer" when we're all shriveled up like pruney muskrats, we go into Hell and get an Ice Cream Cone at "Screams" which is as far as I can tell the only actual business in Hell. No that's not true, there's also a convenience store called the Hell Country Market that sells pizza and other convenient things, and is also the post office so that's where you go if you want to have something postmarked from Hell. There's also a little motel/hotel called the Dam Site Inn....but that's it, that's everything there is in Hell.

Ragnar...it's 90 freakin' degrees outside and I'd rather be in Hell.

From the secret "UFO" files:

This transcript was discovered in a plain manila envelope shoved under the door at Kevbot's house...it seems to be a secret government document concerning a rash of recent UFO (unfinished objects, since I know some of you bleaders are non-knitters) sightings, but I can't be sure. Some of the "exhibit" pictures look vaguely familiar however.

******************

Scary Government Agent Guy: What do you know about these UFO's Ragnar? We've been getting calls about "piles" of yarn around your house, and some of them are getting ugly.

Ragnar: The piles of yarn?

SGAG: Don't get cute with me pirate girl. What I want to know is why you can't finish what you start?

R: I finish things. Look at that picture marked exhibit 12A.

SGAG: What is that? Some sort of joke? What did those take you 15 minutes to knit?

R: I don't have to take your scary government agent crap, that's a finished pair of socks. A pair! Like two that are the same. I guess I could even count that as two finished objects if I wanted to.

SGAG: Oh, so that "pair" of socks that you've been knitting for your former co-worker, that's really one finished object and one ball of yarn? Considering that you don't even have the ends woven in on the one lonely finished sock, I don't think it counts for much. And what about those skully toe socks that don't fit in the toe and have needed reknitting for about two years? What would you call those?

R: Hey, if you want to talk about ancient history that's your problem. Both of those projects have been sitting quietly in the bottom of the basket without bothering anyone for a long time.

SGAG: Well then let's look at more recent history shall we? I'm counting three partially finished baby sweaters here Ragnar. Would you like to say something in your defense?

R: Hey! All of those sweaters are about 5 minutes away from being done. One of them only needs to be sewn up, one of them needs to have the arms shortened, and buttons sewn on, and the other one needs to be sewn up and have the buttons sewn on. Those sweaters are, like, done.

SGAG: They are "like" done, but the fact is that they're not done, are they?

R: Hey would you mind adjusting that light, it's shining right in my eyes.

SGAG: Just answer the question, are those sweaters done or aren't they

R: They're not done! Okay, are you happy? Do you want me to sign a confession or something?

SGAG: And what about the "free wool" sweater, and the "Celtic" sweater?

R: They're not done either! The free wool sweater has gauge problems, and the sleeve cables aren't matching up. And the Celtic sweater is a dye lot nightmare, and I just can't face them right now, okay? Gees. Maybe I'll finish them after the baby is born and it's not 90 freakin' degrees outside and there's a chance in hell that they'll fit me....why are you laughing?

SGAG: You just said "after the baby is born," as if you'll have all the time in the world. I just struck me as hilarious for a second there. But back to these UFO's isn't it true that you just started a pair of socks?

R: Hey, you have to talk to Manimal about that. He did all these crazy calculations and decided that he was being left out of the knitting loop and that with the amount of time I spent knitting, he should get some socks. He even started knitting a pair for himself, and I don't know if you know Manimal, but he HATES knitting, so the man is desperate for socks. I didn't have a choice.

SGAG: Are you trying to tell me that Manimal forced you to start a new pair of socks?

R: Yeah, basically. That was totally not my fault.

SGAG: Okay then, what is this?

R: That is a teddy bear.

SGAG: A teddy bear?

R: Yeah, a teddy bear? You got a problem with that?

SGAG: Well since it's obviously a UFO, yeah, I got a problem with that, little miss attitude. Plus I'm skeptical. That is one fucked up looking bear, and judging from the number of strings hanging off of it, there's a fair amount of finishing in that.

R: Yeah? So? I like sewing remember? I'm a quilter. I sew professionally.

SGAG: Which is why those baby sweaters are languishing away, unsewn and unfinished?

R: Is that all you've got? Because if so I'm leaving.

SGAG: As a matter of fact, I have some more exhibit photos here. Tell me what you think of A34 and 62C.

R: Those are both going to be frogged. That first one, that should never have been started. I was all on fire because I borrowed this Gansey book from Swift Black Betty, and had this homespun that I wanted to do something with. It's just not working out, it's going to turn back into yarn. And that second one, that's the little red riding hoody. I don't suppose I should have started that one either. If I had read the pattern I would have realized that there was no way it was going to look good on Rat Girl. I'm going to rip it out and knit something that will be more practical for her.

SGAG: So you admit that you have a problem with starting inappropriate projects.

R: Hey! You're putting words into my mouth. That is not what I said!

SGAG: What about this intarsia pillow? Is it true that you have 6 inches of I-cord trim left and that you've had that same 6 inches of trim left for about 3 weeks now?

R: Well, it's so close to being done that I didn't feel like I had to work on it.

SGAG: You didn't feel like you had to work on it...I think we're getting to the root of the problem. Let's see, according to my notes you have three pairs of unfinished socks, an unfinished "we call them pirates" hat, two as-yet-unfrogged ill-considered sweaters, three adult sized sweaters that you will work on "after the baby gets here," *snort* three infant sized sweaters that are "almost" done, one intarsia pillow that's "so close to being done that you don't feel like you have to work on it," one tangle of ends that you swear is a teddy bear, and oh...what's this on the bottom of my pile?"

R: Hey! Where did you get those photos?

SGAG: A loom! You have, by conservative estimate, 13 UFO's in progress and you decide to take up weaving? What kind of fiber fiend are you?"

*******************

That's the end of the transcript but there are definitely some pages missing. I'm just trying to figure out what it all means. Are they on to me? Is the UFO brigade going to freeze my account at the yarn store? Do those baby socks I knit last week count for nothing? What's going to happen when they find out about the "little monster hoody" that I have stashed at Woven Art? Maybe I should get off my ass and do some finishing. (shudder).

Ragnar...you try working in a yarn store and see how long you last.

Open letter to those it may concern...

Dear Whoever you are,

I am not interested in hearing any more stories about your, your sister's, your mother's or some anonymous woman who you might have read about in the news's labor stories. Kay? I know that labor is hard, hence the word. If it was happy fun time they would have come up with a different way to describe it, right?

I don't care if anyone of your acquaintance was planning a nice gentle homebirth and had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance with lights ablazing because of one horrendous problem or another. I think it is safe to say that most women will at some point have a baby, and the fact is that most of them get through it just fine whether they are in the hospital, in a birth center, or in the back of a taxi stuck in rush hour traffic. So leave off the umbilical cord around the neck, fetal distress, c-section horror stories. Kay?

And while we are on the subject of things I'm pretty fuckin' sick or hearing about, I don't need to hear about anymore 12, 13, or 14 pound babies. I was over 9 pounds when I was born, my brother was over 10 and our mother made it through just fine. I don't know if you noticed but I'm practically 6 feet tall, with hips to match. So bugger you and your big baby trauma stories. These are birthin' hips, I've been living with them my whole life and it's time that they did something to earn their keep.

Oh, and when you find out that I am due in August, the appropriate response is "you can come over and use my swimming pool while I make you a nice glass of decaf Ice Tea." It is not "that will be hell," "have fun with that," or "you know it's miserably hot in August."

It has also been brought to my attention that 7 and a half months is a little late to be letting everyone know that I am breeding. I am in danger of a mass generalization, but the reason that I didn't tattoo "mother to be" on my forehead and take out a 3/4 page add in the alternative weekly, is because I didn't want to hear labor horror stories, tales of natural childbirth gone horribly wrong, and commentary about what a genius I am to schedule my third trimester for the three hottest months of the year. Do you think that was an unreasonable fear, 'cause so far my only regret is that it got too hot to wear sweatshirts and I could't keep it private for another two and a half months.

Ragnar...pregnant but still a pirate.

P.S. lest the blogosphere get the wrong idea this isn't directed at my immediate friends or fellow bloggers, you all have been great. It's the people who know me the least who feel the need to make sure I'm up to date on the perils of pregnancy...and I know it only gets worse and that I'm going to be dealing with helpful suggestions about the raising of my wee little pirate for the rest of my life, I just needed to get that off my chest before I had a pregnant/hormone fueled/incredible hulk style reaction the next time someone said something ignorant.

Putting the "F" into Art

And the "ass" in aesthetic....ah the life of the street artist.

Last weekend was my second "real" art festival. Several years ago I commented to a friend that I was going part time at my job in order to be a "real" artist. This friend was one of those hippy types that feels that deep down everyone is a creative free spirit, and she gave me a big hug and said "Oh, don't say that! You are a real artist! Everyone is an artist." I tried to explain that being a "real" artist meant that I would be making an income off of it....but apparently money is too crass and commercial to be connected with real art (note to self: future blog entry, "selling out"). But I persist in my belief that in order to live my dream of artisticness, I also need to pay my mortgage, my utility bills, my grocery bill and still have enough left over to pay my studio rent. Thus I am exploring the world of "real" art fairs...those being the ones that are attended by people who actually buy art.

Enter the "Detroit Festival of the Arts"

And the great thing about Detroit is that they know how to throw a party.

If you're having an art festival, why not invite people on stilts dressed up like dragons?

It was great, typical art festival, lots of little white booths filled with art, some good, some...uh...not so good, and then suddenly a little kid runs past outside yelling "dragons!!!" and you hear a prehistoric sounding roaring/cawing noise. People scramble to get away, and suddenly there are four twenty foot high dragons stalking past your booth. Poor Manimal came down to help out and was cornered by one of the beasts when he went out to seek lemonade. Thankfully their trainer came by with his big stick or he could have been trapped behind that lamp post for hours.

And if you aren't satisfied with the dragons, you can go check out the "hair" people. I couldn't get close enough to get a good picture but basically two people dressed up like geisha's pull people out of the audience and then turn their hair into crazy sculptures.

Seriously check out their website, it defies description.

And there was lots of other street art as well, like this huge sand sculpture:

And directly across from my booth there was a couple from the west coast who played amazing home made instruments, like a violcano...a cross between a viola and a volcano, which can be worn like a skirt, and plucked or bowed. Or a huge stringed instrument that stretched across the whole back of the stage and was played by rubbing rosin impregnated gloves across the strings. I tried to take a picture of it, but it looked like two people in funny outfits in strange poses. I saw their show 8 times throughout the weekend. I think I'll audition and move to the coast and learn to play the orbicals.

So needless to say I had a blast. Even if I hadn't sold anything I would still try to do the show next year, just to see what sort of crazy performance art they can dig up, but I did sell things! I don't know how the really real artists judge a successful weekend, but at this point if I cover my booth fee, the gas money, three days of "festival" lunches (expensive and greasy!) and have some left over as profit then I consider it to be a success.

Ragnar...proud to be a sell out.

Delayed Blogging...

Argh! I thought I would do better at this whole blogging thing once I moved into a house with reliable Internet...but so far not so good. I've decided to make up for my lack of bloggerliness by double posting. First off, so that you all know how good my intentions are, I will post an entry with a selection of photos that I took with the full intention of blogging. Secondly I will post an entry about the art fair I did this weekend, which will serve the purpose of "catching me up." It is (as always) my intention to post on a more or less regular basis, but since that hasn't been happening so much of late I suggest that you ration these entries. Read one tomorrow, read one next week and hopefully by then I'll have posted another one.

And if you don't like it you can blame it on this little guy:

Yes yes, as you may have guessed from my last post, Ragnar has gone and joined the breeders. Say hello to Ragnarson everyone, he's waving at you. What does being pregnant have to do with not being able to update the blog? Absolutely nothing, but it's one of the perks of allowing your body to be a duplex for 9 months, you get to blame every lapse on being pregnant. Really pregnancy just gets better and better. Aside from the back pain, the swollen fingers, the strange churning in my belly (actually that's pretty cool), the extra 15 pounds, and the need to urinate every 15 fuckin' minutes (I know all the good bathrooms, if you need to pee within 100 mile radius of the Lansing area, you just let me know and I'll hook you up,) this pregnancy thing just gets better by the minute.

Anyway, here are some things I haven't blogged about since getting knocked up.

Manimal and I had a teenager for awhile. He rented our front bedroom for 3 or 4 months, and it was pretty entertaining. He isn't an official teenager, since he's 25 or so, but in all other respects it was exactly like living with a 15 year old. I'd give him 16 or 17, but he didn't have a car, so we were always giving him rides "up to the cafe to study." Yeah, I used to go up to the "cafe" to "study" too, so I know that it's code for hanging out with yer buddies and mackin' on chicks. Highlights of living with a teenager:

The night we found one of his friends passed out in the recliner and women's clothing strewn at random around the living room.

The many times I found him staring into the refrigerator with something vaguely edible in one hand, like an unwashed carrot while he stared into the chilly depths waiting for food to jump into his mouth.

And of course, dressing him up to go to his first toga party:

"Do either of you know how to tie a toga?" emerging from his bedroom holding a sheet patterned with blue and brown flowers.

"You can't go to a toga party dressed in that."

"It's my only sheet."

So Manimal loaned him a black kilt and he togaed (to toga, I togaed, they will toga...yeah) it up with the pirate flag. Smashing, really, it gave me a little shiver and a premonition of what it'll be like to watch Rat Girl get ready for her first school dance. (Manimal and I saying, "You can't wear that...it doesn't have skulls on it. Here borrow the pirate flag, you can just sort of drape it around your shoulders like a shawl or something.")

And I do knit, really. Actually I've been knitting quite a lot....mostly sweaters in size 0 if you know what I mean. I can't really get the energy I need to rescue any of my "for me" sweater projects, since they won't fit me for awhile, but I am trying to get one made for the rat girl. The "little red riding hoodie" stalled after the first sleeve, since it has A LOT of shaping and the instructions for the second sleeve read: "mirror shaping from the first sleeve." I can barely tell my left from my right on a good day, so remembering to ssk when I had previously k2tog, not to mention knitting the short rows from the opposite side, felt like a monumental task. The LRRH languished for several weeks until I had the fabulous idea of getting a mindless DVD. Enter "From Russia with Love." Exit, the left sleeve of the LRRH. Unfortunately since then I have actually tried the sweater on Rat Girl and it looks really awful. This is a sweater that is meant to fit very tightly over boobs. It doesn't fit tightly and Rat Girl won't have boobs for at least 3 or 4 years. The unhappy ending to this story is what LRRH will be frogged and turned into something more flattering. I'm going to measure her up today. In the meantime, I can knit a sweater in size 0 in about 3 days, and since Ragnarson is due in August, he's going to need LOTS of sweaters. No really, babies get cold very easily.
We have moved out of our house. See, the cupboards are bare. Also our remodeling project has a mascot. When my parents were visiting for the East Lansing Art Festival they brought tons of loot with them....many pirate related objects since it was right around my birthday (my 30th! again) and also this "Bob the Builder" doll, which proclaims "can we fix it? yes we can!" with confidence whenever he's squeezed in the balls....I think his voice box might have slipped a little bit. Manimal is quite taken with him...either that or he needs a boost of ol' Bob's unflagging optimism, because I hear "can we fix it? yes we can!" about 45 times a day.And we've moved in with Kevbot, who has a burn barrel in his back yard with a smiley face drilled into the side. When it's really going it looks like a happy guy with crazy red hair. Kevbot has a bank of computers in his basement that makes the deck of the Enterprise look like a laptop...but can I get a blog entry up on a regular basis, no I can't.

And lastly, I have been in line behind some crazy people lately. Firstly I had to go and pay our gas bill, and this man in bike rig with full body tattoos was in front of me. This man was at least 50, but I think he was more like a fit 60. You can't see too much of it in this photo because of his backpack, but his entire back was covered with thick tribal tattoos. He also had many large gauge piercings in his ears and both nipples. He was clearly in a hurry and was quite irritated that the people ahead of him didn't have their money in order. He even turned to me with an eyerolling sigh that clearly communicated the fact that "some" people really needed to get their shit together, (the guy in front of him was trying to get out of paying his bill by saying "I don't know why my gas bill is so high, I haven't even lived there for the last 6 months.") Anyway, it does my heart good to know that rather than mellowing with age, I can become a crazy biker with nipple piercings and that the clerk at the gas company won't even blink as she takes my money (counted in advance and exchanged with out delay or comment.)

And then a week or so after that we had to pick up something at the Walgreens and this guy was ahead of us. Yes. He is wearing a skunk on his head, a real skunk. You can't tell from this photo (because, I don't know about you, but when a guy is wearing a skunk on his head I'm a little nervous about approaching him and asking him to pose for a picture) but this was basically a whole skunk, little skunk face ahead, big fuzzy skunky tail behind. It was also about 85 degrees outside, so it's not like he was wearing it to keep his head warm. It became pretty obvious that this was a source of family pride when he picked up his prescription. I don't like to put people's name's up with out asking them, but it was only one letter off from "skunk." I wonder what sort of hat he would have worn if his name had been "Moose."

See? It's not like I don't think about blogging...I just don't manage to find the time to actually do it.

Ragnar...it's because I'm pregnant.